Alabama Home Works Great For Jury Duty And as a Mausoleum

I am writing my column as I sit for jury duty. I got my notice. I deferred. The post office actually delivered the second notice. They have issues delivering checks to me but not my jury duty postcards. So here I am, on a Monday, at jury duty. 

It’s been a solid 20 years since I had jury duty. Yeah, baby, I was livin’ la vida loca, fast and loose. But, as they say, all good things come to an end. There is this one slack-jawed fellow who is sleeping with spittle drooling out of his mouth.

That’s a good boy. He would be smart enough to get out of jury duty. I digress. As I look around the room, there is very little doubt that we are all thinking the same thing, “I wouldn’t want any of these people on my jury. They all look like they should be in a mausoleum.” 

As though Kismet played a role in the house featured in this week’s column, I found it as I was waiting to see if I would be picked. This house could serve as a mausoleum and as a holding pen for jurors.

Jurors, Mourners, And Family Reunions

Sitting on a 1.18-acre lot, there is easy access to the property and plenty of parking for jurors, mourners and/or family reunions. Located at 3325 N Jackson Highway, Sheffield, Ala., this home has four bedrooms, and two-and-a-half bathrooms, and is 4,418 square feet. The owners are asking $444,000.

The living room area is too nice for a jury pool room but boy howdy is it on point for a funeral home that leads to the mausoleum. The only thing missing are the caskets and urns.

You have plenty of storage for those urns; just make sure you do not confuse them with your baking supplies.

The hope is that the rooms down these halls would be different but, you know, it’s the hope that kills you.

The only thing missing are the caskets and urns.

Let us go to the basement.

This space would be perfect for storing everything a mausoleum entails and if you have to go to the bathroom, no worries about hustling upstairs.

‘Nuff said. After sitting here for the better part of the day and writing about this house there is only one thing I want to hear.

For more photos go here.