Southernly Female Charm Is on Full Display in This Gulf Shores, Alabama Home

I do declare, the home featured in this week’s column is something to behold. Now I do not necessarily mean that in a good way. If there was ever a home that, without a doubt, was built for and lived in by some old Southern woman, it would be this house. Old Southern women have a way with decor that few others have. Let me tell you, when that Southern woman is from the deep south, well you just need to do one thing: buckle up babies because we are heading to Gulf Shores, Alabama!!!

Let’s take a look, shall we?

The right side of the house looks like it’s leaning. Maybe it wants to go to the beach.

I have been in homes like this before. This is a solid concrete house that smells like old lady cigarettes, Jean Naté, and Aqua Net. So much Aqua Net. You need proof? Okay.

You are welcome.

One of the issues with old concrete homes like this one is that it does not matter how many layers of paint you put on the walls, it peels off and looks horrible. Oh yeah, the leaks don’t help either.

The bathroom is a real treat. It simply oozes deep Southern charm.

In between dropping trou and taking a bath, you can sit at your desk and write one of those old Southern style letters.

My dearest Beauregard, I write to you with news from the bathroom. The Charmin felt quite velvety against my skin but I fear the curtains are much too sheer as I caught Mr. Thaddeus Lookyloo at our window. I do declare, he gave me quite a fright.

Now that’s what I call Southern charm.

The dead giveaway that an old Southern woman decorated this house is that there is a gun on the wall and a humongous clock that a blind person could see.

In any respect, a gun is not the weapon of choice for an old Southern woman. You want to know what their weapon of choice is? Check the wall below.

Frying pans. Oh wait, I got that wrong. It should be fryin’ pans. Let me tell you, it’s not aluminum fryin’ pans. These bad boys are cast iron.

I have a feeling those pans did a lot more than just fry chicken. Those are the kinds of pans that could crack coconuts.

I could go on with this house, but nothing I’ve shown you is the real reason why I am writing about it today. I love this house is because it is located in Gulf Shores. You know what they say, location, location, location. This coming Friday marks 33 years since the Gusman and I got married in Gulf Shores. It’s been fun. More laughter than tears, more joy than sorrow, and a daughter who is the light of our lives. I love the Gusman more today than I did 33 years ago. I love him so much that if I could fit a desk into our 60-square-foot bathroom, I would absolutely write him a letter about the toilet paper.

Cardi B is wonderful. As for the rest of you, don’t be jealous, I love all of you too. My butt is big!

Located in Gulf Shores, Alabama this home is listed for $799,000.