You Should Have Said “Puh-lease” If You Wanted to Be Spared This Vegas Home

The old slogan “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” is no more. It is official. Thanks to the interwebs, what happens in Vegas absolutely does not stay in Vegas no matter how much we beg. “Puh-lease keep it in Vegas. Puh-lease.” It’s no use. 

The house featured in this week’s column proves the adage is done and oh, what would I have given to have kept the visual proof of the existence of this house in Vegas.  PUH-lease!!!!! You, my peoples, know the rule. If I see it, then you see it. What? What’s that? What’s that low hum across the city?  PUH-LEASE!!!!!!!!!! Too little, too late.

That’s the energy we all should have put behind the first puh-lease. Let’s proceed to Paradise Crest Manor. That’s the name of the house. Sounds like a drama.

Between you, me and the lightpost, I love the dragon. If I could find a suitable dragon, I’d put it in my front yard next to my rooster. I digress.

Yeah, I’m going to let this sit.

“Embark on an extraordinary journey at Paradise Crest Manor, a residence that transcends the ordinary.” Is it the hotdog man or the velociraptor in a feather boa with bedazzled cowboy hat that transcended the ordinary?

It was definitely the velociraptor.

My best guess is this is the cage where they stick the go-go dancer.

Oh please. A muppet cage dancing makes just as much sense as a velociraptor in a studded cowboy hat and feather boa. Oh wait, I should have said puh-lease.

“Immerse yourself in the allure of Vegas history with treasures like Liberace’s staircase from the Riviera show, the Dunes’ stained-glass dome, and the iconic sign from the Hacienda Hotel and Casino.”

Liberace’s staircase.

The dome.

In all fairness, I think it’s a city ordinance that every home in Las Vegas has to have a large sign on the side of their house advertising a “el grande buffet.” Come on, let’s look around some more.

Just a little history on the house. It was owned by Lonnie Hammagren, a neurosurgeon, who previously served as the lieutenant governor of Nevada. So there’s that.

Let’s see the theatre.

What kinky things do you think those mannequins are doing behind that screen? It is Vegas after all.

My granny taught me to never, ever sit that way on a couch.

Yeah, baby! Dragon goes RAWR!!!!!

I’m going to wrap this up because there’s only 46,251 photos left to see of this place. Hopefully before the next Vegas house comes along, we will all learn to put a little more sincerity into our begging.

Oh puh-lease, like we have any more soul left after seeing that house.

See more of this 7,268 square-foot home listed for $2.5 million in Las Vegas, Nevada.