Spider Monkeys, Flamingos, and a Turducken Left Me Gobsmacked in 2024
Share News:
Oh 2024, you started out just like Thelma and Louise. Happy and carefree. Ready to take on the world and look for some adventures. The Gusman and I were bouncing right along to our own tune. We were blessed enough to watch our girl graduate with her Master of Fine Arts and move her to California so she could start her career. That’s the good stuff right there.
Then the 2024 election rolled around and ruined our fun. Now the Gusman and I feel like we are at the end of Thelma and Louise and we’re hurtling toward the Grand Canyon as we go into 2025.
That is why I am so grateful to CandysDirt.com and to all of you for humoring me week in and week out with all these silly homes I share with you on a weekly basis. I hope they all sold above asking.
So to all of you who read my column, read and left a comment, or simply perused my stories, please know that I wish you and your families a holiday season filled with peace, grace, and love. May the best of your past be the worst of your future as we ring in 2025! I’ll be looking for you next Wednesday.
Until then, here is a list of my five absolute favorite Wednesday WTF homes for 2024.
5. Alaska Home Gives New Meaning to Rugged Indoor-Outdoor Living
An accurate description for the State of Alaska is rugged. The terrain is rugged. The people are rugged. The attitude is rugged. The fact that the state flag is not some big burly Alaskan swathed in red check flannel, chopping wood, is a shocker.
4. Colorado Home Will Leave You Gobsmacked And Counting Chandeliers
To be overwhelmed with wonder and surprise is to be gobsmacked. Boys and girls, gobsmacked is the word of the day — at least the word that offers the best description for how you will feel after you see the house featured in this week’s column.
I know, I know, I can sense the doubt amongst you wonderful readers. But let me tell you a little somethin’, somethin’ — this house brings the receipts. The gobsmacked receipts.
3. Like a Turducken, This Florida Home is Stuffed With a Helicopter, a Car, And a Plane
It should come as no surprise that the turducken was created in the South. Only in the South would someone stuff a deboned chicken into a deboned duck and then take that combination and jam it into a deboned turkey. Former football coach and commentator John Madden ripped into one with his bare hands so he could show the football viewing public a chicken stuffed into a duck stuffed into a turkey.
The images still haunt me.
2. Garage Flamingos And Spicy ‘Terminator’ Art Make This Nevada Home a Keeper
There is a funny story behind this week’s column. The featured listing was sent to me by three different people.
The first was from our illustrious Publisher Candy Evans. She simply texted me the link. I looked at the first photo, which had flamingos painted on the garage door. If I had a garage door it would most definitely have flamingos painted on there in all their glory.
The second was from my equally illustrious Executive Editor Joanna England. She said the house was lovely as long as everything got scraped off the walls. So I looked at two or three interior photos and was in basic agreement with her.
Then an old friend of mine, who is a stitch in her own right, sent me this listing. Her accompanying note was much more direct. “Mimi! They have paintings of people doing it hanging on the wall. House porn, house porn, house porn! Porn! And hey, didn’t your Mom have that same mirror?”
1. Alas! A Florida Home That Can Save People From Spider Monkeys and Hot Flashes
Summer is always a perilous time for my marriage. I am a 56-year-old menopausal woman who battles hot flashes like a ninja trained spider monkey. Spider monkeys are 3-foot-tall primates who often become violent toward humans who try to domesticate them. The only thing missing at the end of the definition is “or are going through menopause.” Needless to say, spider monkeys and I are nearly identical.
