The 1980s Contemporary That Was Built in 2010

contemporaryOur Wednesday WTF this week is something I like to call an “Oh Dear” house, as in, “This house is charming, I see nothing wrong with it, OH DEAR, what is that?” In this case, it’s a contemporary built in 2010, but for all the world looks like a home built in the 1980s.

contemporary

Meet this grand estate in Wappingers Falls, New York. It clocks in at 9,437 square feet of living space with four bedrooms and three-and-a-half baths, and is priced at just shy of $2.8 million. 

The grand contemporary is nestled on a heavily treed 10.5 acre lot, and seems to have a lot going for it.

Outside, the grounds are immaculate, and include a covered front porch and large backyard patio. There is enough acreage, according to the listing language, for a private helipad.

Inside, an open floor plan on the main floor provides plenty of entertaining space, although some of the finishes seem awfully dated for a home built in 2010.

The living room has uh, pipe organ, and there’s a second sitting area with a fireplace.

contemporary

And you, know, there’s an indoor saltwater heated pool.

“That’s nice,” you’re thinking. But let’s look at another angle.

Now, this is perfect if you have been looking to emulate the feel of a Bass Pro Shop display, right?

Now, just in case you’re thinking, “It’s just a pool, and it’s not that bad, I could deal with this,” let’s pivot to the master suite.

“The Master suite also offers the open concept design with cathedral ceilings, tiled shower, jetted tub, marble double sink vanity, bidet, recirculating hot water and spacious walk-in closet and large sitting area,” the listing says.

That’s right, your bathtub is just steps from your bed. Convenient, no?

So, just to give you a recap of the layout, it’s bed, bathtub, glass cube wall, shower, glass cube wall, sitting area.

Downstairs, there is a room suitable for every drum kit known to man.

Also downstairs is what the listing is saying is a two-thirds replica White House Oval Office, as one does.

So are you as flummoxed by the design choices in this relatively new home as we are? Do you have strong feelings about that master suite? Sound off in the comments.

Want to see more of this contemporary time warp (of course you do)? Click here.

5 Comment

  • I have no words!

    Yep, I’m speechless.

    Professionals are a must for a home this size.

  • Love the popcorn machine. Is there any way to tell who lived here? I don’t have a good utility to zoom in to view the certificates on the wall. I’m picturing a combination of Liberace/ one of the Roosevelt descendants because it’s NY / one of the Ben Franklin descendants because swimming next to bedroom / Laura Ashley turned Levitz (thank you 80’s) and a metal head drum fanatic who has to bathe 10 times x day — my brain is about to implode. Curious minds want to know. I’m so glad they contained themselves to 10.65 acres.

    • Pretty easy to google the owner. Greg Knowles, a record producer, drummer, and professor at Juilliard. Looks like he’s had an incredible life – just didn’t pick up much decorating taste along the way!

  • mm

    Oh my, now here is a specimen for the word “customized”. WTF were they thinking?