CandysDirt Douche-Bag Photography Department: What ARE These Agents Thinking?

Maybe they have just returned from a Rocky Mountain high, but really, if you are going to take your own listing photos, at least please mind the following check-list:

1. This should be a question on the TREC real estate exam for every single agent in the state: What do you do to a toilet before you take a picture of a bathroom? You CLOSE THE DAMN TOILET LID before each shot of the loo, although we do like that clip on cleaner hanging below the seat… if we could see it (squinting…).

2. Use an iphone and hold the camera steady. Some of these shots are so blurry I have already placed a call to my opthamologist to check my Astigmatism.

3. Turn on the lights. Is that floor black? I feel my SADD coming on…

4. Move all the crap out of the photo. I don’t care if that mop, those sneakers (the agents’?) and all the bathroom reading material are stacked behind the photographer, we just don’t want to see them in the photo.

And what IS that projection thingee on the wall?

5. What a great bed! What a micro bedroom! And maybe get out of the car to take the money shot of the front of the house!

That’s all we ask! This is a really nice house house, perfect far North Dallas specimen in Oaktree, off Frankfort, about 5200 square feet. 5219 Scarborough Lane. The two-story home has 5 bedrooms, 4.5 baths, a 3 car garage, family room, master, and study downstairs. There are four huge bedrooms upstairs plus an over-size gameroom with wet bar overlooking the pool and spa. The kitchen has a nice island, double oven, microwave, and built-in refrigerator. There is a large breakfast area and family room, and like a chicken in every pot, there is a ceiling fan in every room. This home is well priced at $690,000, but that is nothing so cheap we resort to taking our MLS photos on a Brownie.

I spy some fake greenery above the bar, and what is that wire in the spa? A hairdryer?

Huge tip of the hat to Ebby’s Lydia Player!