This Virginia Lighthouse Is For Sale, and We Have Questions

The home featured in this week’s column reminded me of this crazy movie my daughter had us watch. The movie in question is called “The Lighthouse.” It stars Willem Dafoe and Robert Pattinson portraying 1890s lighthouse keepers in New England. It’s partly based on the unfinished Edgar Allan Poe short story called, you guessed it, “The Lighthouse.” I’m going to tell you a little somethin’ somethin’, these filmmakers finished the hell out of that short story. My word.

The synopsis of the movie is that these two guys go bongo bananas because they get stranded at the lighthouse during a storm and they spend the entire movie speaking in old English style with their ye’s, thee’s, and thou’s and looking as though they have not showered in 500 years. A rom com it was not.

Trust me, it’s not a rom com. 

Now, I’m not quite sure how much of a role the lighthouse had in driving them go bongo bananas but I’m sure it didn’t help. You will want to take this into consideration before buying the lighthouse I’m going to show you.

According to the listing, Middle Ground Lighthouse was constructed in 1891 and still serves as a navigational aid. “The lighthouse has been carefully restored by the current owners while preserving its historic character.” Someone dig up Poe and dust off your ye’s, thee’s and thou’s. The man’s got a sequel to write.

“Accessible only by private boat and surrounded by open water, the property offers approximately 1,251 sqft of interior living space and more than 1,100 sqft of exterior deck space, with panoramic water views and a level of privacy rarely found on the East Coast.”

How much privacy does anyone really need? I enjoy the cool ocean breeze as much as the next person but this is a little much. When we wanted privacy we simply put up an 8-foot fence.

I will say, this lighthouse is a lot more pleasant than the one depicted in the movie. Those guys didn’t have comfy throws.

Nor did they have what looks to be a queen-size bed with accent pillows. They had a lot of crazy. Not that this place doesn’t have hints of insanity but at least you have comfy throws and pillows.

A lovely hand-painted mural.

Dollars to donuts somewhere written on this wall is “all work and no play…”

If the time comes where you really need to get off the lighthouse, the solution has been provided: that boat on the wall.

Your arms will get a heck of a workout.

Somebody get this guy some more sharpies. Much like Poe, he’ll have more writing to do on the wall.

The Middle Ground Lighthouse located in Newport News, Virginia is listed for $995,000.