This Georgia Home Defies Gravity — and Common Sense

When I was a kid, I lived across the street from Amos and Andy. We rode our bikes all over the neighborhood, played Hotwheels, board games, you name it. Sometimes we would just spend the afternoon sliding down the incline that was their front yard. Then one glorious summer day Amos and Andy’s parents bought them this huge trampoline. It barely fit into their backyard. It was the summer we truly understood and learned a great appreciation for gravity.

An accurate representation if I have ever seen one.

Their trampoline was wedged between their house and a cinderblock retaining wall. We had a great time. Amos got on this kick where he said he could defy gravity. The rest of us were determined to prove him wrong. ‘Ol Amos finally developed his respect for gravity when the rest of the kids got on the retaining wall and simultaneously jumped on the trampoline and sent him flying. I can hear the thud of him hitting the ground. Fun times.

What got me thinking about those days and the importance of understanding gravity is the house featured in this week’s column. It doesn’t know that gravity is a thing.

“Property will require a total rehab and is being sold AS-IS. All potential buyers and agents must sign a Hold Harmless Agreement prior to entry.” In other words, if you are considering buying this house it is absolutely a BYOB and the B stands for bulldozer.

People truly, truly amaze me. They have a “beware of the dog” sign on the fence. That is so freaking funny. I would hazard a guess that, maybe, just perhaps, the dog is not the biggest threat at this property.

Crap falling off this house or the fact that you have a ladder to climb in order to get onto some rickety wood stairs, perhaps those are a bigger threat than Fluffy the dog. Also, it is not known if the ladder even conveys.

Okay, okay let’s look at some positives. There is a deck and you have satellite service. That’s fine livin’ right there. Also, the only people murdered here were ones who could make it up the ladder. So they had to be in some kind of decent shape. In other words, they put up a good fight. Lastly, as long as the entire family does not congregate on one side of the house, it should all be good, right?

Now that we have the positives out of the way, can we all acknowledge that this house absolutely does not know about the existence of gravity? The only reason it is staying up is because those beams are holding all the weight. That’s it, nothing more.

So here is the fifth and final picture that the realtor uploaded. Here’s the incline the house will rolling down when it comes off its pedestal. Kind of reminds me of Amos and Andy’s front yard that we used to slide down. The times were quite simple. We didn’t have to worry about a house tumbling along with us.

Located in Warner Robbins, Georgia, this home is listed for $52,500.