Overcompensating Much? This Kansas Home Has Dead Animals Hanging From Every Wall

As a friend and I were walking through a parking lot the other day, we came across the biggest pickup truck we had ever seen. You know what I’m talking about. The tires were huge. You need a ladder equivalent to the ones firetrucks have in order to get into the stupid thing. It had oversized fenders that loped over into the other spaces. It was a hot mess.

My friend looked over and said, “They’re overcompensating for something.” My retort, while less eloquent but just as accurate, was, “Teeny weeny.” That is the woman code for tee-nee wee-nee. Then we both cackled and went on our merry way. The cackling was awesome. I digress.

Now it just so happens that for you fine people I have found the house equivalent of the teeny weeny pickup truck. Almost immediately, you will see the perfect expression of teeny weeny in house form. You are welcome.

Sitting on a whopping 362 acres, this home has five bedrooms, three-and-a-half bathrooms, and is 6,300 square feet. It is located at 273 North Hickock Road, Healy, Kansas. The owner is asking $1.65 million.

So you walk through the front door and all these dead woodland creatures are just staring at you. The bear would be fully in his/her right to pounce on you while all the deer watch. I defy anyone to convince me that these animals do not come to life at night. You know they come to life. They do.

Now once you get past the bear and full-sized deer this is what you see.

Oh but wait. It gets so much worse.

Look at the shadows in this room. Only a psycho could relax in a living room like this. It seems like the majority of the animals have their head cocked toward the couch. Teeny weeny.

I can sense your doubt. Okay, that is fine. Let us take it up a notch shall we?

Tee-nee wee-nee! 

You have a deer head and neck on a stump. A deer rearing back to kick you with their back legs. An enormous boar that looks ready to take flight like Superman and then, any number of low-hanging antlers on which you or your guests could impale yourselves.

And let me just answer your question now as to whether this lunacy continues.

The chandelier in the primary suite is all antlers and the display of death continues along the wall. Who doesn’t want dead deer checking them out while soaking in the tub?

I only have one thing left to say, “Maestro cue the cackling now.”

And oh yea, teeny weeny, teeny weeny.

For more photos go here.