Jersey Home Wants To Be Startin’ Somethin’

Ah, New Jersey. Often maligned and mocked, the state brought us many fine things, including Bruce Springsteen and I’m sure other things.

Seriously, I googled “Good things about New Jersey” and came up with this list that includes: “It produces the most chemicals in the nation and has 108 toxic waste dumps – more than any other state.”

I did try.

Anyway, today’s Wednesday WTF isn’t going to make this situation any better, but it won’t make it any worse, which is probably a great thing to remember as we delve into this 1972-built home in Blackwood, New Jersey that looks completely normal on the outside, but is a completely different story on the inside.

And, you know, it’s a little Trump Towers at the entry, but we can forgive that, right?

And maybe they like statues a lot. That’s OK, right?

But uh, this house, you might say, as you get further in, wants to be startin’ somethin’. Yes, it’s got to be startin’ somethin’.

Or, perhaps more accurately, it does remember the time.

“Whatever are you talking about, Adlene?” you may be asking.

Let me show you.

It also boasts a disco primary suite and a pool with more statues. Lots more statues.

The listing (no word on if the statues stay):

I’m SO proud to present to you this Spectacular Whitemarsh model home located in the heart of Washington Twp. This is truly a 1 of a Kind Home! NOT average, NOT cookie cutter! UNIQUE best describes this home! As you pull up to the home you will certainly be impressed with the Professional Landscaping & Well Manicured Lawn. ENTER & Fall In LOVE with your New Address! Great layout with a nice flow from room to room. Kitchen features GRANITE Countertops, Italian Porcelain floors, Double Oven, SS Appliances, state of the art Refrigerator ( just purchased). Family Room has a WOOD BURNING FIREPLACE (can be converted back to gas) on a wall of Beautiful Stone. This room opens into a HUGE SUNROOM that has both Heat & AC. The view of the backyard from this room is amazing to say the least! There are 4 Sliding Glass Doors that lead you out to your Backyard OASIS. Get ready to be the envy of all your friends. The IN GROUND Pool is heated, has several fountains & an attached spa. There is a Fire Pit area located at the back part of the yard & a SHED for storage. There is also a Covered Gazebo like area with a tropical decor that will make you feel like you’re on an island resort. This yard is TRULY a MUST SEE. There is a Full Bath on the main floor off the Family Room. A large Formal Living room w/ newer bay window is located off main entrance ( currently being used as a dining room). The dining room is off the kitchen. Laundry Room is also on the main level with door to the Garage allowing for inside access. Upstairs features the Primary Suite fit for a King & Queen. There are 2 Skylights, vaulted ceilings, Huge WalkIn Closet & a Primary Suite attached. There are 2 more Bedrooms & a Full Bath on this level. There is an open area on this level where you can have your Office or Study. Other Features Include, 7 Zone Sprinkler System, Whole House GENERATOR, TANKLESS Hot Water Heater (approx 3 yrs), Newer Roof (approx 3 yrs), HVAC ( approx 3 yrs) & SO MUCH MORE!

Want to see more of this Jersey house? You know you do.