Pennsylvania Victorian All Dolled Up And Ready to Go

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Remember how just a couple of weeks ago we were melting snow in the bathtub so we could flush the toilet? That’s apropos of nothing about this week’s dolled up Wednesday WTF, but I just like to remind people that was a thing.

This week’s home is a three bedroom, two-and-a-half bath Victorian in Williamsport, Pennsylvania, priced to move at $110,000. It has 2,354 square feet of interior space, and that includes a room for crafting or homeschooling or uh, stuff.

And those of you who have played the Wednesday WTF home game know by now there is something up. Something I’ve probably made a pun about. Puns are coping mechanisms, like whisky at 10 a.m. but less socially acceptable.

The listing:

“If you are seeking a home with designated space for a Home Classroom, Office or Craft/Hobby space, the Third Floor is very accommodating with 3 Large Rooms and a Full Bathroom. For convenience, the First Floor has a Half Bath and a Laundry Area. The Kitchen offers a Wet Bar/Drink Station and Ample Storage Space, with a Cozy Breakfast Room nearby. The home maintains its classic features including a Large Foyer with Beautiful Arched Details, Original Crystal Chandeliers and Fireplace. Great Covered Porch for enjoying afternoons with friends and neighbors.”

dolled

So, first let me say that like the house with the potato room, this is a perfectly fine house. It might need some updating and paint, but it doesn’t (as far as I know) have a table problem, or a statue problem, or mass graves.

I mean, sure you will probably want to gut and replace this kitchen with a more functional layout and some significant upgrades, and the flooring in the house can use some swaps, but not bad.

And yes, there is carpet in the bathroom, and we know how we feel about that.

But the bedrooms are adorably well, Victorian.

I mean, until they well, aren’t adorable because they’re filled with murder dolls.

They will 100 percent all kill you, and not even in your sleep. They’ll straight up murder you in your face.

Oh, but there’s more.

And just in case you were wondering, there is indeed one doll that will come murder you for sure.

That one. That one right there specifically will come murder you because it doesn’t even get to hang with the other creepy dolls. Everyone knows that a lonely, sad, abused doll becomes the most vicious murder doll of all. That’s like, science.

So anyway, if you want a house haunted by dolls for not a lot of money, this is a good house for you. Want to look some more? Here you go.

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Adlene has been a real estate writer for the better half of a decade, but only recently came to CandysDirt.com to write our Wednesday WTF column. Have a doozy of a listing not fit for public consumption? She wants to see it.

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