Hey Tubby! It’s Time to Think Outside the Egg

Even before Lady Gaga popped out of an egg at the 2011 Grammy’s, I was over the plethora of egg-shaped bathtubs.  I realize that bathtub shapes are limited by what is placed in them … namely people. But men, always enjoying a little manspreading (it floats, you know), would rather not have a bathtub that narrows at the legs.  So speaking for all men, the recent fad of egg shapes has tired us out.  It’s time to crack some eggs and see what else is out there.

Enter the eminently practical and clean-lined Pride bathtub from German maker Kneif & Company.  Pride comes from their K-Stone range of solid-surface bath fixtures.  Within the line there are 13 different tubs, about half of which have that high back that I’m digging.  After all, regular tubs expect you to scrunch up to lay your head on the rim.  Here, you have the support you need and the depth you want. I especially like the integrated shelf behind the head. Overall it reminds me of an oversized Asian soup spoon that holds 60 gallons. Pride is worth its weight in gold and this Pride will cost you about $5,000.

New York state-based Hastings Tile & Bath offers Blade. A decidedly modern shape with stainless steel legs that combines the cleanliness of a rectangle with curves suited to the body.  Lacking the headrest of Pride, the curve invites you to slide your bum forward to fully submerge yourself.  In Dallas, check out TKO Associates in the Design District. I’m afraid with scant information from outdated websites, you’ll need to trundle over and look at their catalog.

Do champagne and bubble bath not offer enough effervescence? Maison Valentina offers the Newton bathtub.  In fact, it’s more than a bathtub, it’s a family that includes two pedestal sinks of equal opulence. Described as a “statement piece,” who am I to quibble? It’s available in two finishes … the one above and the same gold tub with gloss black and gold-plated spheres.

Are you more diamonds than champagne? Maison Valentina hears you and offers the Diamond bathtub.  The exterior shell is high-gloss lacquered fiberglass with a gold interior bathtub.  Still not enough?

How about Maison Valentina’s Symphony bathtub, measuring 71 inches in diameter and 27 inches high? Certainly a tub worthy of a little canoodling of a little human … symphony? The girdle of organ pipes are made from brass over a fiberglass bathtub with other color combinations available.  Prices for all these bathtubs are “if you have to ask.” For more information, shoot Paulo Miguel a note.

For those needing a palate cleanser after those opulent tubs, we have Bisazza’s Daffodil bath designed by Spanish artist Jaime Hayon. Its appearance is that of furniture with a gloss black surround shown.  Daffodil is available in two lengths (68-inch and 80-inch) and three colors (black, white, and gray). While there is no store in Dallas, Milan-based Bisazza has locations in New York, Los Angeles, and Miami. Daffodil will set you back $10,000 with little change.

Next up is Bisazza’s Ofuro soaking tub designed by Tokyo-based design firm Nendo. It’s a take on traditional Japanese Ofuro soaking tubs that have been used for centuries.  Made almost completely of Japanese Larch wood, this riff offers the simplicity of design and relaxation.  The smaller boxes also double as steps to enter this 77-inch long by 27-inch wide by 37-inch tall bathtub. Complete submersion is the name of the game here. Also, technically, this isn’t a bathtub and soaps are frowned upon as they may stain the wood. This is all about the soak.

Last but not least, we have Acquadesign’s Biblio. Biblio, meaning library in Latin, and for those soakers who also enjoy a read, here you go. Depending on your literary and leg needs, it comes in three sizes, (71 by 35 inches, 80 by 40 inches, and 86 by 46 inches). The tub/bookcase is made from gloss acrylic and available in white, gray, brushed silver steel, and a patinated silver. In the US it’s available in Los Angeles, Chicago, and Miami. Budget for another $10,000 to your renovation budget for this one.

There you have it.  Several ways to get away from the tried and tired egg-shaped bathtub.

 

Remember:  High-rises, HOAs and renovation are my beat. But I also appreciate modern and historical architecture balanced against the YIMBY movement.  If you’re interested in hosting a Candysdirt.com Staff Meeting event, I’m your guy. In 2016, my writing was recognized with Bronze and Silver awards from the National Association of Real Estate Editors.  Have a story to tell or a marriage proposal to make?  Shoot me an email [email protected].