Hey, have you heard the one about the couple who rented a place on Craigslist only to catch their super gross landlord having all the sex in their bed? The things that come across your desk when you write about real estate.
The Smoking Gun, which uncovers all kinds of weirdness in the criminal and civil justice world, tells us the story of Logan Pierce and Mikaela DiGiulio of Colorado Springs, Colo. The couple rented their abode from Carlos Quijada-Lara after seeing his ad on Craigslist.
“Quijada-Lara’s daytime tryst was discovered thanks to a Nest security system that was installed in the $1100-a-month apartment by the tenants,” the site says. “After Quijada-Lara and his partner entered the bedroom, Pierce received a notification on his phone that the surveillance system had detected noise in the residence.”
The video that followed — for six minutes — was the landlord and his partner knocking boots, and them um, cleaning themselves up on the couple’s clothing – including DiGiulio’s wedding dress.
Please note: We at CandysDirt.com have no issue with the kind of bumping uglies anyone does with other consenting adults, but we do frown on doing it in someone else’s bed without permission. And we also think it’s icky to abuse wedding gowns without asking, too. Consent, loves.
Quijada-Lara (the super gross landlord), 39, made a plea deal with Colorado prosecutors for trespassing. No word yet on if they’ll require restitution for all the eyeball bleaching I had to do after reading the account (I’m linking, but seriously, if you’ve just eaten, plan on eating anytime in the future, or have ever eaten food at all, you may not want to click).
This puts to shame my weird landlord story from back in the day, when I came home to find a goat eating my underwear because “he followed me in when I came to use your shower.” Yep, my landlord came in to use my shower! While I don’t know how my brain figured out how to triage the questions I had, I did manage to ask why she used my shower first (although in retrospect maybe the goat should’ve come first).
“Oh, you have such nice shampoos and body washes,” she said.
And the goat? “He’s a pet, he’s so cute.” When I pointed out we’d have to agree to disagree, since he was currently eating my underwear, my landlord leaped up, dropping her towel (my eyes), and screamed, “MARTIN SHEEN WILL NEED TO GO TO THE VET NOW.”
Anyway, I moved out soon after, mostly because I couldn’t afford to keep us both in fancy shampoos and body washes and keep buying underwear.
Candy told me one, too: “We were renting before we built our Ricks Circle house because I am too conservative to own two homes at same time. Our builder ran over a few months, of course, and of course they sold our POS rent house. It was down the street from St. Marks, a re-muddled ranch that was a mess, rats, leaks, etc. I actually threw out some furniture the rats pooped on. The buyer was a builder who wanted to tear it down. So he ignored our lease and tried evicting us! I had visions of us sitting on the curb, kids clad in Hockaday/St Marks unis, three goldens, a parrot, stacks of boxes piled sky high and rat poop furniture!”
“Fortunately, we have some smart lawyer friends who counter sued, and we had to get continuances for various reasons, which ended up giving us eight more months via court order. So the builder, Jim Odom, said ‘Ok, how much time do you want?'”
Then the a-hole kept my security deposit for a house he was TEARING DOWN! I took him to small claims court for the security deposit BUT by then he had filed for bankruptcy.”
What’s your landlord horror story? Sound off in the comments.