Love is Blue: The Most Beautiful Ritz Residence You Will EVER See, and It Has MY NAME all Over It!

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I would rarely say this about a property: please don’t buy it. Begging you! I mean, I fall in love with real estate all the time. I drool over doors, landscaping, corinth columns (remind me of my very first boyfriend’s house) marble hearths, coffee colored hardwoods, wide-planked oak and bamboo, farmhouse sinks in kitchens, heated master bath floors, onyx and white Carerra and jacuzzi spas and tubs ALL THE TIME. I have been in every expensive house in Dallas, from the Hicks residence to Mt. Vernon, Lisa Blue’s masterpiece on DeLoache. Hunter Mahan’s to Lee Trevino’s to Plano to Frisco to Southlake, to Vaquero and I absolutely love Fort Worth dirt! Alice Walton’s! I’ve seen them all from $60,000 (tried to Master-Charge it) to $100 million. And do you know what house caught my heart, made me want to DUMP my current home faster than a hot potato loaded with sour cream and bacon? What home made me want to not just freaking CHEAT on my house in a New York minute but totally abandon it, forget it, ride off into the sunset across the border (maybe safer to hide out in Carmel) with it and just say adios amigo?

The Residences at the Ritz Carlton. Residence 602.

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The current owners were quite genius and must have chipped me to read my mind. They took two units and combined them for a total of 4100 interior square feet of custom, one-of-a-kind living space in a care-free condominium environment. It’s the first time I have been in a high rise and felt like I was still grounded.

Walk into a gallery entrance that unites both wings. Custom Lutron art lighting highlights the Venetian plaster walls that are everywhere, even in the closets (and behind the commodes), and tiptoe onto Honey Onyz flooring. Honey Onyx. I am not kidding you: with flooring called honey, this home can only be owned by someone named Candy.

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There to the right is the spacious living room and dining room, the formal rooms for entertainment, that majestically overlook the Crescent and the City. There is a wet bar right here, and a wine room right off the gallery so all guest or owner needs are at your (or the help’s) fingertips.

Next is a study which I would turn into the national headquarters of CandysDirt.com, SecondShelters.com, and all our growing sites. Actually, there are two studies, one for her (me), one for him, but likely I would hijack HIS, not because the space is inadequate but because I’m greedy. The bookcase-lined connecting hallway could be shared, I guess. That orange backsplash on the workspace counter would remind me of certain Realtors every single day!

The master suite is just jaw-dropping. Let me tell you, a LOT would be dropping off in this suite. First of all, it is huge (28 by 17 feet) and has views of Uptown from the balcony. There is a sitting area with a cozy gas fireplace (mmm) and then there is the master bath spa retreat. Finished in Arcobaleno Blue granite, it features a huge shower and separate jetted tub. Television embedded into the mirror.  A window viewing more of Uptown is covered in a custom-designed bevelled-glass screen to allow for prisms of light to dance across the smooth as silk bathroom walls while bathing, putting on makeup, or just sitting (HA!). This is literally the happiest bathroom in Dallas/Fort Worth.

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And the closets, two separate his and her’s — well, just take a look.

The kitchen is not just your cook’s dream… cooks might even pay YOU to saute here! It is whimsically uplifting and happy. The source is lots of light and Chihuly-inspired custom glass tile backsplash. You must see this. There are the usual name dropping appliances –a double Wolf range, double Sub-Zero fridge and freezer, Viking wine fridge, warming drawers, two Asko dishwashers and the whole shebang of upper end cooking wizardly is coated with custom Anigre wood cabinetry.

Let me tell you, it’s not just the outside of these puppies that’s pretty: there are special drawers lined in felt for silver, more cabinets sized for pots, and every inch made into a storage heaven.

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There is also a lovely utility room with a large stacking Miele and sink, glass front cabinets and glass tile backsplash. There is also a built-in ironing board which I might even use, just not for ironing shirts. This is the location of the rear entrance for caterers and the Ritz staff that grants just about your every dream

Guests? Yes, we would let them in. There is a guest room. Ostensibly this is really a two bedroom home — that’s all I need! — but a guest room with the classic Ritz bath offers privacy at one end of a wing, far far away from the master bedroom, or even the twin studies, which could become bedrooms three and four if you must. But please don’t.

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Floor surfaces include custom wide-planked oak, that lip-smacking Hoey Onyx, mable, stone and some carpet.

It goes without saying that the home comes with all the Ritz-Carlton amenities such as 24 hour fitness, valet, Concierge, garage, private pool, spa, and Dean Fearing’s delights a phone call away.

As for all that Arcobalenco Blue granite, which is one of the most rare, where it couldn’t be covered in granite, artisians reproduced the stone on plaster.

And this is a home where you can grow old together, hand in hand, or walker by walker: all baths are ADA compliant.

The asking price is $3,950,000. Which is not too much for the one home I would choose in Dallas, Texas, if I could have any.

Begging listing agent Kyle Crews of Allie Beth Urban to get me a deal: like, say, $3,949,999.99?