Fernando Alva, R.I.P. Dear Friend With a Heart Bigger Than Texas

Share News:

Fernando M. Alva was a dear friend. I had not seen him for about nine months, but on  Wednesday afternoon, May 9, I had a fleeting vision of him in my mind as I worked on a blog post. Call him, I told myself, call him later on today and connect.

Here is how I met Fernando: he wrote me a letter, typed actually, correcting information I had written in a magazine article on real estate that was inaccurate. Imagine that. I called him, asked for an explanation, asked to meet him for lunch. We became fast friends. Over the years I entrusted him with deeply personal thoughts, my home, aspirations and pain. He listened, reflected and never once let me down. I recall how incredibly well-written that initial letter to me was, a first impression that proved to be spot on as Fernando was a deeply intelligent, sensitive man. As I told him often, you have more empathy and insight than half the so-called geniuses I know.

He was born on August 14, 1980 into a loving family in El Paso, Texas. He graduated from the Maxine L. Silva Health Magnet School in 1999 and moved to Dallas to attend the University of Texas at Dallas. Soon after, he enrolled in Champion School of Real Estate and graduated in 2003, obtaining his Texas real estate license. He immediately joined with  Keller Williams, first the North Dallas office, then Turtle Creek, and began a life-long career in residential real estate. During his tenure, he worked for Keller Williams, Laura Beasely Real Estate, Allie Beth Allman & Associates (Juli Harrison), Keith Cox (now with David Griffin Realtors), and most recently, Keller Williams agent Carol Blair. Fernando was also active in many Dallas philanthropies, notably DIFFA, where he took on fundraising in full force by creating program pages specifically for realtors, raised funds and volunteered for every aspect. He certainly had a flair for design.

“I was the director of DIFFA Dallas when I met Fernando for the first time,” says publicist Kayla Watts. “He was just getting involved in volunteering for DIFFA and took fundraising on full force. That was just the start of our friendship, over the years we kept in touch via email, text, Facebook, etc..Fernando was the ONLY person who understood what I was posting about when I talked about TED and how I wanted to be part of the program. He was the one person who understood so many things I said that really had a deeper meaning.”

Often, I reflect on what it is that makes some of us aspire to seek affluence, art, creativity, power, limelight or a passion for living cursorily packaged as “the good life”. Why do we want bigger and better, be it in real estate or an aesthetic pursuit? Fernando and I pondered this often.

“Why,” I would ask him, “why are we just not satisfied, and why do we not at some point just stop, just say OK, I’m happy here. I’m content. Why do we keep climbing?”

“Because that drive is what makes you get out of bed in the morning,” he’d tell me.

He was an excellent listener. Fernando loved wearing black, much as he loved his happy solitude as a child. A friend asked him once if he owned any color other than black. With a straight face, he said “yes”.  Asked if he ever wore it…”occasionally”.

Fernando re-confirmed his Catholic faith a few years ago, becoming more active both in his church and his beloved A.A. Fernando successfully conquered and understood addiction issues, and was an inspiration to many addicts who he helped become strong. For the last two years, he focused his energies on humility, his mother said, and giving to those in need, whether emotional, or physical. One time I was being a narcissistic brat, feeling sorry for myself, and Fernando told me the best cure was to go out and do something wonderful for someone less fortunate. It was a phrase I’ve taken to heart, repeated, and will never forget.

Fernando was one of the most generous and caring hearts in Dallas. He was pursuing a degree in interior design at El Centro College. Education was life to him. He took his nieces and nephews, who he considered his own, to movies, the theater and museums. As a child, he dragged even his big brother and sister to galleries and museums, always their cultural concierge.

“He wanted the best for his siblings,” says his mother, Gloria. “He wanted to always be a positive role model.”

Perhaps it is that striving drive for being the very best that finally chokes us in, wearies us.

“I felt your passing this afternoon,” wrote Amy Floca on his famous FaceBook wall. “I became so overwhelmed, and couldn’t understand my sudden depression. I now believe it to be my empathy.”

Fernando was connected to those of us he knew in this way.

He is survived by his grandmother, Estefana Villalobos, his very beloved mother, Gloria V. Sandlin, brother Orlando J. Alva and his spouse, Jessica Kuhank, a sister Veronica L. Alva, and four nieces and nephews who he treated as his own children: Alexis and Desiree Lozano, and Jakob and Jonah Alva.

Services are scheduled at The Cathedral Virgin of Guadalupe Shrine, 2215 Ross Ave, Dallas, Texas (75201) Saturday afternoon at 1:00 p.m.

“His last post on Facebook is about wanting it to rain forever,” says Kayla Watts. “It is full of so much more meaning, because the raining now is tears from everyone who is feeling his loss.”

 

Candy Evans, founder and publisher of CandysDirt.com, is one of the nation’s leading real estate reporters.

38 Comments

  1. yvonne crum on May 10, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    such a great write up.. i am heartbroken to see this happen.. so very sad.. wish I'd called him more.. and lunched more..that smile is the best.. may you rest in peace dear Fernando..

  2. yvonne crum on May 10, 2012 at 7:40 pm

    such a great write up.. i am heartbroken to see this happen.. so very sad.. wish I'd called him more.. and lunched more..that smile is the best.. may you rest in peace dear Fernando..

  3. Karen Eubank on May 10, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    What a wonderful tribute Candy. I'm so sorry for your loss of such a dear friend.

  4. Karen Eubank on May 10, 2012 at 7:56 pm

    What a wonderful tribute Candy. I'm so sorry for your loss of such a dear friend.

  5. Lily Vasquez on May 10, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    I just want to express how heartbroken I am about my little cousin Fernie. I knew him since he was a baby and have many wonderful memories of him. If only life would be a little easier my regret is not spending enough time with him and his siblings. As I live in Las Vegas and unable to attend service please know that I love the Alva family dearly and my thoughts and prayers are with them. And Candy even though we have never met I want to thank you for creating this blog and for the wonderful comments you wrote about my cousin.

  6. Lily Vasquez on May 10, 2012 at 8:59 pm

    I just want to express how heartbroken I am about my little cousin Fernie. I knew him since he was a baby and have many wonderful memories of him. If only life would be a little easier my regret is not spending enough time with him and his siblings. As I live in Las Vegas and unable to attend service please know that I love the Alva family dearly and my thoughts and prayers are with them. And Candy even though we have never met I want to thank you for creating this blog and for the wonderful comments you wrote about my cousin.

  7. Tony Caliendo on May 10, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    As the Team Leader of Keller Williams Urban Dallas, I had the pleasure of working with Fernando for the last 3 years. He was a valuable member of our team and is going to be missed. He was "that person" who tended to be the "go to" person for many agents and always seemed to be "right there" when an agent needed help. His work was always of the highest quality and standards. Nothing was done "partially" in Fernando's world. Perfection was his minimum standard.

    One thing I will remember specifically about Fernando was his infectious laugh. You couldn't help but laugh right along with him, even if you had NO idea what he was laughing about. Just hearing his laughter made you smile.

    My Dear Fernando, I firmly believe you are finally experiencing peace in its purest form! I also know you are busy organizing everything on the other side. RIP Fernando, RIP!

  8. Tony Caliendo on May 10, 2012 at 10:18 pm

    As the Team Leader of Keller Williams Urban Dallas, I had the pleasure of working with Fernando for the last 3 years. He was a valuable member of our team and is going to be missed. He was "that person" who tended to be the "go to" person for many agents and always seemed to be "right there" when an agent needed help. His work was always of the highest quality and standards. Nothing was done "partially" in Fernando's world. Perfection was his minimum standard.

    One thing I will remember specifically about Fernando was his infectious laugh. You couldn't help but laugh right along with him, even if you had NO idea what he was laughing about. Just hearing his laughter made you smile.

    My Dear Fernando, I firmly believe you are finally experiencing peace in its purest form! I also know you are busy organizing everything on the other side. RIP Fernando, RIP!

  9. Simon Nezbeth on May 10, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    Oh my, this is very sad. What a loss for the real estate community!

  10. Simon Nezbeth on May 10, 2012 at 11:14 pm

    Oh my, this is very sad. What a loss for the real estate community!

  11. Janet Allen on May 11, 2012 at 5:11 am

    Beautiful tribute for a wonderful person Candy… Fernando will never be forgotten.. Rest in Peace

  12. Janet Allen on May 11, 2012 at 5:11 am

    Beautiful tribute for a wonderful person Candy… Fernando will never be forgotten.. Rest in Peace

  13. Greg Haynes Johnson on May 11, 2012 at 7:20 am

    This is a beautiful tribute, Candy.

    Fernando continued to volunteer for DIFFA for what has now been at least 12 years. He did this volunteer work without ever asking for credit, recognition or, for anything in return.

    Like so many that had learned to rely on Fernando for many things, we will miss him deeply and will not let his work be forgotten.

  14. Greg Haynes Johnson on May 11, 2012 at 7:20 am

    This is a beautiful tribute, Candy.

    Fernando continued to volunteer for DIFFA for what has now been at least 12 years. He did this volunteer work without ever asking for credit, recognition or, for anything in return.

    Like so many that had learned to rely on Fernando for many things, we will miss him deeply and will not let his work be forgotten.

  15. Anne and Alma Hodge on May 11, 2012 at 7:51 am

    My Mother and I want to express our great respect and admiration for Fernando. Fernando came into our lives after my mother's terrible fall down her front stairway. Fernando was an angel. We couldn't believe how fortunate we were to have him with us. Fernando became an immediate family member. He could not have been more kind or more attentive. His passing is a great loss for us as well. Be well Fernando and please look out for all of us. RIP. (I hope they have plenty of Red Bull in Heaven)

  16. Anne and Alma Hodge on May 11, 2012 at 7:51 am

    My Mother and I want to express our great respect and admiration for Fernando. Fernando came into our lives after my mother's terrible fall down her front stairway. Fernando was an angel. We couldn't believe how fortunate we were to have him with us. Fernando became an immediate family member. He could not have been more kind or more attentive. His passing is a great loss for us as well. Be well Fernando and please look out for all of us. RIP. (I hope they have plenty of Red Bull in Heaven)

  17. Missy Woehr on May 11, 2012 at 8:26 am

    Still too soon to process, but my heart will never recover. What a beautiful soul & what an honor to have been touched by his friendship.

  18. Missy Woehr on May 11, 2012 at 8:26 am

    Still too soon to process, but my heart will never recover. What a beautiful soul & what an honor to have been touched by his friendship.

  19. Jay Narey on May 11, 2012 at 10:04 am

    While I didn't personally know Fernando – clearly he made a big impact on people in and outside of real estate. For all of you who knew him – you have my sympathies. He must have been an extraordinary individual.

  20. Jay Narey on May 11, 2012 at 10:04 am

    While I didn't personally know Fernando – clearly he made a big impact on people in and outside of real estate. For all of you who knew him – you have my sympathies. He must have been an extraordinary individual.

  21. Carol Blair on May 11, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Fernando was my friend. I accepted him as he was and he accepted me as I am. No questions, just acceptance. I am going to miss him so much. Peace be with you my dear Fernando.

  22. Carol Blair on May 11, 2012 at 10:06 am

    Fernando was my friend. I accepted him as he was and he accepted me as I am. No questions, just acceptance. I am going to miss him so much. Peace be with you my dear Fernando.

  23. Kevin Day on May 11, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Sympathies to the family for their loss. A heartfelt respect to Fernando, I so regret the pain you must have been in.

    Forgive me if the above seems awkward, I am still at a loss for words.

  24. Kevin Day on May 11, 2012 at 10:08 am

    Sympathies to the family for their loss. A heartfelt respect to Fernando, I so regret the pain you must have been in.

    Forgive me if the above seems awkward, I am still at a loss for words.

  25. Lisa on May 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    My truest and deepest condolences to Fernando's family and friends; which is evidence of his beautiful life. I did not know him, but feel that I was introduced to him through your blog, Candy. There are no words that can ever be spoken to ease the pain of a lost loved one. But, just knowing how many lives he touched is an incrediable, immeasurable testiment to his immortality.

  26. Lisa on May 11, 2012 at 1:42 pm

    My truest and deepest condolences to Fernando's family and friends; which is evidence of his beautiful life. I did not know him, but feel that I was introduced to him through your blog, Candy. There are no words that can ever be spoken to ease the pain of a lost loved one. But, just knowing how many lives he touched is an incrediable, immeasurable testiment to his immortality.

  27. Keith Cox on May 11, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    Thanks for a special tribute to a very special man. My heart still hurts too much to express how much I will miss him and how special he was to me. He is free of pain now, and that is how I will get through all of this. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY DARK ANGEL, FERN. AND I KNOW YOU ARE IN A SPECIAL PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GUIDE AND TALK TO THOSE YOU LEFT BEHIND. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, I LOVE AND MISS YOU

  28. Keith Cox on May 11, 2012 at 3:24 pm

    Thanks for a special tribute to a very special man. My heart still hurts too much to express how much I will miss him and how special he was to me. He is free of pain now, and that is how I will get through all of this. YOU WILL ALWAYS BE MY DARK ANGEL, FERN. AND I KNOW YOU ARE IN A SPECIAL PLACE WHERE YOU CAN GUIDE AND TALK TO THOSE YOU LEFT BEHIND. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN, I LOVE AND MISS YOU

  29. Ernest Jakes on May 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    I did not get the pleasure of meeting him but through this post I can tell that he was an exemplary man. In a time when there are so many that have their own best interest at heart it warms me to know that such a person that passed through here. It reminds me of when Jesus said to his disciples "who do you say that I am"? It is what the people around you that know you say that you are that clearly defines you. I am proud to be a Realtor and hope to be like this young man. God has use for him elsewhere. Via con Dios, amigo.

  30. Ernest Jakes on May 11, 2012 at 5:37 pm

    I did not get the pleasure of meeting him but through this post I can tell that he was an exemplary man. In a time when there are so many that have their own best interest at heart it warms me to know that such a person that passed through here. It reminds me of when Jesus said to his disciples "who do you say that I am"? It is what the people around you that know you say that you are that clearly defines you. I am proud to be a Realtor and hope to be like this young man. God has use for him elsewhere. Via con Dios, amigo.

  31. Christopher Kennelly on May 11, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    I had the pleasure of working closely with Fernando and was telling the story of how we met and the types of questions he asked me while I was teaching or presenting at Champions Real Estate School. I had never met such an inquisitive man and we seemed to develop an almost instant trust and bond. We spoke often after our first meeting and worked many hours together at KW North Dallas. His thirst for knowledge and level of detail always amazed me.
    He shared his artistic talents and gave an incredible gift of his writing for my daughter Katie's Bat Mitzvah in June of 2005.
    He was the only one to send me a Passover card only weeks ago and it is still over the visor in my Suburban.
    When I received the call from Gloria I was barely able to speak and tears flowed freely over our collective loss of such a great spirit. My prayers will continue to go out to him and to all who loved him as I loved him. His presence was a blessing and I intend for him to live on for many years in my stories and in my memories.
    My life and that of my family is better for having the blessing of him in our lives.
    I live in Sarasota now and I am moving in to my new place this weekend or I would be in Dallas honoring and celebrating his life while mourning his passing.
    Love, hugs and prayers to all,
    Christopher

  32. Christopher Kennelly on May 11, 2012 at 10:20 pm

    I had the pleasure of working closely with Fernando and was telling the story of how we met and the types of questions he asked me while I was teaching or presenting at Champions Real Estate School. I had never met such an inquisitive man and we seemed to develop an almost instant trust and bond. We spoke often after our first meeting and worked many hours together at KW North Dallas. His thirst for knowledge and level of detail always amazed me.
    He shared his artistic talents and gave an incredible gift of his writing for my daughter Katie's Bat Mitzvah in June of 2005.
    He was the only one to send me a Passover card only weeks ago and it is still over the visor in my Suburban.
    When I received the call from Gloria I was barely able to speak and tears flowed freely over our collective loss of such a great spirit. My prayers will continue to go out to him and to all who loved him as I loved him. His presence was a blessing and I intend for him to live on for many years in my stories and in my memories.
    My life and that of my family is better for having the blessing of him in our lives.
    I live in Sarasota now and I am moving in to my new place this weekend or I would be in Dallas honoring and celebrating his life while mourning his passing.
    Love, hugs and prayers to all,
    Christopher

  33. Steve Habgood on May 12, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Candy, what a great tribute to a wonderful person. Fernando touched so many people in his caring, supporting way. The real estate community and his many friends and family are hurting with his loss, but grateful he is at peace.

  34. Steve Habgood on May 12, 2012 at 9:35 am

    Candy, what a great tribute to a wonderful person. Fernando touched so many people in his caring, supporting way. The real estate community and his many friends and family are hurting with his loss, but grateful he is at peace.

  35. Gloria V Sandlin on May 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Candy, you are Fernando's angel. Thank you for this wonderful tribute to him and for the help which you provided while my heart was breaking. He sent you to me, thank you for listening. I would like to use this avenue to extend my deep gratitude to all who cared for him, who supported him, and enriched his life.

  36. Gloria V Sandlin on May 14, 2012 at 3:31 pm

    Candy, you are Fernando's angel. Thank you for this wonderful tribute to him and for the help which you provided while my heart was breaking. He sent you to me, thank you for listening. I would like to use this avenue to extend my deep gratitude to all who cared for him, who supported him, and enriched his life.

  37. Candy Evans on May 15, 2012 at 12:09 am

    Gloria, yes. Fernando was a huge help to me as I blogged from the very beginning. Please make it your home! Fernando is very much a part of this blog still!

  38. Candy Evans on May 15, 2012 at 12:09 am

    Gloria, yes. Fernando was a huge help to me as I blogged from the very beginning. Please make it your home! Fernando is very much a part of this blog still!

Leave a Comment