Are Ya Friggin’ Kidding Me? There Is No Way This Townhome Isn’t in New Jersey

Chapter 58 of the book “You Never Really Know What’s Going on Inside a House” takes us to Yardley, Pennsylvania. Yardley sits right on the border with New Jersey. During the American Civil War, Yardley was a station on the Underground Railroad, and now that we know those two little tidbits of information, the interior of this home makes perfect sense. Someone escaped from New Jersey and brought their stylin’ decor to this quaint little town. Are ya friggin’ kidding me?

Oh yes, yes, yes. This home may be in Pennsylvania, but it has the feels of bros that come from the land of New Jersey. Do not let the outside of the home fool you.

This townhouse is just as cute as it can be. It’s on the end, so you only have to share a wall with one neighbor. Dee-lightful! Let’s go inside.

“Hey bro, let’s feng shui the joint. The chicks love that feng shui stuff.”

“Bruh, great idea. Does a friggin’ gong count?”

“Shiny bruh. We need everything really friggin’ shiny.”

“The furniture bro. Let’s make sure it’s friggin’ uncomfortable and hard to get out of so the chicks need our help.”

Something I absolutely have to share with you: on top of the Roman pillars, I thought I was looking at a pig’s head wearing a top hat. It didn’t make sense. These guys are from Jersey, not the Bayou. I zoomed in, and it turns out they are just column toppers with speakers sitting on top. So there’s that.

Even the kitchen is over-the-top shiny. Oh wait, I said that wrong. Even the friggin’ kitchen is friggin’ shiny. Yeah, that’s better.

We finally have one area that isn’t so bad. Yes, the chairs look like torture devices, but the bar is nice and well-stocked. Let’s keep looking around.

A shower and hot tub in the living room? That bar better always be well-stocked. Even the painting on the right knows this is too much.

Excellent placement for a bench. Let’s bring this entire space together.

To the primary suite.

“Yo, one night in my bed and I’ll have you seeing the friggin’ stars.”

Yo Pennsylvania! Tighten up your friggin’ borders. The call is coming from inside the house, and it has a Jersey accent.

This nearly 3,000-square-foot townhome is listed for $725,000.