This Canadian Home Could Pass for a Nevada Bordello with Hot Pink, Satin Walls, Eh?

Canada has a nice disposition. They are mild-mannered people. With all their “eh?” and calling people “hosers,” they are similar to our most reliable neighbor who always makes sure they put the lids on their trashcans so nothing blows out and makes a mess. Love, love, love Canadians.

That is why when I saw the house featured in this week’s column, I had to do a double-take to make sure I read the address correctly. That’s right folks, get your passports, we’re going to the Great White North.

Now just between you, me, and the lighthouse, this used to be a funeral home. It is apparent that the Canadians selling this gem did not get that memo, and all I can say is “Oh my, eh?”

Satin, hot pink walls!!! Yeah baby!! It’s like something you would find in a Nevada bordello, and I am here for every single bit of it.

Rest in peace, Moira. What a talent. I digress.

I do not care if you have to wear sunglasses to be in this room. I’m more than willing to sacrifice the retinas for satin, hot pink. Yes, you now know the truth. My taste in color runs directly to Nevada bordello. I’m not ashamed, and you can’t make me be ashamed. That’s all I have to say about that, eh.

As much as it pains me, we need to leave the hot pink satin and move on to the rest of the house. Now, I will say, the Cannucks that own this house have a great sense of humor. Not only did they knowingly purchase a former funeral home, but they also embraced its former life.

This color is a little easier on the eyes, but the thought of lying on that fainting couch and looking at the ceiling makes my stomach do flip-flops.

Moving to the bedroom, I don’t know about you, but I will stick with bordello pink as opposed to this shade. A little too violent for my taste. (Maybe that’s just the wall art I’m staring down the barrel of.)

Now, I will say, they did a nice job with the stairwell.

The theme continues in the primary suite.

While the primary suite does give the impression that those plants may come to life and eat you like a Venus flytrap, I don’t think any reasonable Canadian would let that happen, eh?

This nearly 12,000 square-foot home, located in Ontario, is listed for $1,073,030.22 (‘Merican).