5 Wednesday WTF Homes That Deserve a Second Take
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The July 4th holiday is one that holds a lot of nice memories for me. My parents would hold barbecues at our house where our neighbors and friends would come over. It was loud and it was fun.
My Pops would squeeze every bit of lighter fluid out of the can. I can still hear the crinkle of the tin. We would each take two to three generous steps back as he flicked the match into the pit. The flume of fire was a thing of beauty. It simply was not July 4th without the whiff of lighter fluid floating through the air.
So as we coast into the July 4th holiday and since I was already on memory lane, I thought I would share some of the funnier Wednesday WTF’s that you can read while grilling your burgers and fajitas, walking along the beach, or splashing your toes in the plastic pool you share with your dog.
Please know that I wish you and your family a very happy July 4th holiday.
CSI Palm Springs: Murder Mysteries Abound at This MCM California Home
Today I reveal to you a little behind-the-scenes action at your favorite real estate news site, CandysDirt.com. That’s right, I’m going to dish on a little-known secret about some of the folks on staff. There are a number of staffers who are down for murder podcasts, real-life murder mysteries, unsolved murders, and the list could go on. In other words, if someone’s dead we are down for every bit of the who, what, where, and why of said dead person. May they rest in peace and pass the party dip please.
Hands down, the entire CandysDirt staff would show up for this party. There’s something in there for all of us. Trust me when I say, we would bring a good time. Yeah baby, we would. I digress.
Bring the Crosses and Garlic Because This NJ Horror Home Will Jeebie Your Heebies
There are times when the opening description of a home does not do it justice. “Investor Special! Builder’s Dream! Needs a major rehab” is the opening line to the home featured in this week’s column. The listing agent clearly left off: “Would make a great location for a horror movie.”
Mr. and Mrs. Super Cool Are Selling Their Cali Home, Can You Dig It?
Never in my life have I wanted to meet the owners of one of the houses I’ve written about until now. Not only do I want to meet Mr. and Mrs. Super Cool but I want to know everything about them. What do they eat? What do they drink? Where did they get their sense of style and sass? How and when did they earn the title of Mr. and Mrs. Super Cool and does the weight of that crown weigh heavy on their heads?
Only a Dog Cursed by a Witch Could Create this Level of Chaos in this California Home
Our dog Hazelberg always leaves messes in his wake. He’s a chewer and a destructor. He gets rubber balls and rips them apart, leaving little pieces of rubber all over the house. If it’s not rubber bits, it’s fluff from his stuffed toys. It will look as though there is snow in our house when he gets a new toy. The animal is a purveyor of chaos.
The rubber balls are a real pain clean up. The pieces are hard to sweep because the bits bounce out of the dustpan. It’s his contribution to decorating our house. At least that is what we say to keep the urge to strangle him in check.
You Can Find Liberace in the Great Beyond … the Candelabra in This Arizona Home
So our dog Hazel, Hazelberg to our close friends and family, can be a pill. We simply cannot take him anywhere without him drawing out the absolute drama in people. As we were waiting in the drive-thru lane at the bank, the lady in front of us got out of her car and yelled, “Can you please shut your dog up, he’s torturing my baby!”
Torturing? Torturing? In the first place, Hazelberg did not know she had a baby in the car. In the second place, Hazelberg did not care that she had a baby in the car. In the third place, Hazelberg was convinced that every time the bank drawer opened, the lady was getting his cookies that the teller always gives him and hence, the barking.
Having been yelled at a number of times by strangers who object to Hazelberg’s barking, I have refined my response: “My whole family barks!” and then I started barking along with Hazelberg. Torturing? Please. You want to hear about torturing? Imagine being a teenager trapped in a car with a father who only plays Liberace tapes for 12 hours as we drive from Alabama to Dallas.
