Funhouse Mirrors Makes For a Detroit House of Horrors

During the late ‘70s in Alabama, pop-up carnivals became a thing. My favorite attraction was the hall of mirrors. It was the only time in my life I was tall. My little dachshund legs looked so long in the mirrors. I remember thinking that when I grew up and had a house of my own I would have nothing but funhouse mirrors so I could be tall all the time.

Ah, the things little kids think of can be so …  What’s the word? Dumb. That is the word.

Thankfully, the majority of kids get smarter as they grow up and leave that dumbness behind. The ones who do not, well, they become greedy CEOs of major media corporations who think artificial intelligence can replace talented writers. Yeah, it is always a really super dumb idea to go to war with people who write for a living. I digress. I stand with the writers! Oops, digressed again.

Okay back to little Mimi and her childhood dream. It just so happens that the house featured in this week’s column would have fulfilled my childhood dream as well as been a great investment for my future. The house is a multi-unit property with three different units that can be rented. Passive income is very smart. The largest of the units is a short person’s dream. Just wait, you’ll see.

The building has a total of five bedrooms, more than two-and-half-bathrooms, and is a total of 2,600 square feet. It is located at 12073 Stoepel Street, Detroit, Michigan. The owners are asking $99,000. As typical as the other two units look, the colors and the mirrors in the largest apartment are a lot to handle.

The exterior is lovely. The front porch and arched brickway are wonderful as is the top deck. Little Mimi would have loved to play board games outside in those areas because even she would tire of funhouse mirrors being everywhere. Yes, even then, little Mimi had her limitations.

Now at first glance, little Mimi would think “funhouse mirrors, yeah!” But after sitting on the pot for any amount of time, the more accurate assessment would come to her. “These are not funhouse mirrors at all. These mirrors are warped because ghosts and evil spirits got trapped in them!” I can tell you this much, little Mimi would zip up and get the hell out of there.

The ghosts living in these mirrors are so strong they even made the kitchen cabinets look all warped.

Now I know this sounds like the imagination of a child that has simply run wild. Oh yeah?

In a room full of mirrors, where is the reflection of the photographer? If you want to know what evil spirit warped all these mirrors, just look at the spooky picture of the old lady hanging above the bed. What in the world kind of picture is that to hang above your bed?

There is no reflection captured in the other bedroom either.

That mirror is so warped there is no telling how many ghosts are stuck in there just waiting to getcha. There is no doubt that little Mimi would have used her dachshund legs to scurry away from this house because while she may have had dumb ideas as a kid, she was not crazy.

For more photos go here.