Not a Fan? Seven Ceiling Fan Options For All You Haters

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It all started when a friend posted on Facebook, asking if she’d be crazy to remove the ceiling fans from her home right now. “Um, yes, this is Texas and it is summer,” was pretty much the universal response.

But this got us thinking — what if you really hate fans? And how many people out there actually hate ceiling fans? Over here, we kind of feel that anything that helps you avoid the Texas heat and move the air-conditioned air around your house more efficiently is A-OK, but we also know that well, ceiling fans can be kinda ugly.

So we ran some polls: Facebook, Facebook Stories, Twitter, and Instagram Stories. Overwhelmingly, people said they were Team Fan, but there were about 10-36 percent (depending on the poll) that said they hated fans.

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Given that ceiling fans are almost a necessity (in fact, a lot of readers commented that they felt they were a “necessary evil”), we reached out to Sarah Nowak of Sarah Nowak Interiors and Blackwood Homes, and tasked her with finding some options for people who hate ceiling fans.

Count Nowak as firmly Team Hates Fans, which also makes her the perfect person for the job.

I generally abhor ceiling fans, but as a lifelong Texas resident, they are a necessary evil,” she said. “So I have a few guidelines for choosing a ceiling fan that is only mildly offensive.”

She has guidelines, y’all. Pull up a chair and listen.

“First I tend to choose styles that have a single light rather than multiple sconced lights. It just seems less … ceiling fan-y (new word coming to a Webster’s dictionary near you). Second, I require switch and remote operation only, no pull chains. For one thing, they’re inconvenient but most importantly, they’re ugly. My final rule is to choose a ceiling fan with a simple blade shape. It may be cute and quirky now but in eight years are you still going to love your Starship Enterprise-shaped fan blades? Unlikely.”

So Nowak found us seven options that are under $300, picked just for the haters. Her picks — and comments — are below.

The Rule Follower That Is Still Trendy

“This contemporary fan from Fort Worth Lighting manages to comply with my rules while still bringing a trendy vibe. Matte black and gold are a hot combination right now so this is a great option for folks who aren’t afraid to hop on the trend train (forgive me).”

The Classic One for Traditionalists

“Another great option from Fort Worth Lighting is this transitional style five blade fan. With wood blades and oil-rubbed bronze, this is a classic-leaning transitional look which would work well in homes with more traditional finishes.”

A True Transitional That Could Do Double Duty

“Another good one from Fort Worth Lighting is this wood and dark bronze finish fan which is more of a true transitional style but could work in contemporary homes and even with the immensely popular modern farmhouse trend.”

A Beast That Is Still a Beauty

“I love this Honeywell brand ceiling fan found on Amazon for $229. At 62 inches in diameter and with eight blades this guy is a beast! Another wood and oil rubbed bronze finish in the transitional style which is just so versatile.”

Almost a Rule Breaker

“This contemporary matte black Minka-Aire fan found on Amazon is bordering on breaking my rule of no cheeky blade shapes but I still really like the simplicity. It is available in six different finish options and you gotta love the convenience of Prime shipping.”

Super-Affordable Transitional With Four Finish Options

“This transitional cutie from Wayfair is the most affordable here at only $212. The four different finish options are all stylish but the oil rubbed bronze and walnut blade combination is the most versatile.”

Despite All Your Rage, It’s Still Just a Fan In a Cage

“Throwing in a wild card with this last one! If you want something that just looks nothing like a ceiling fan, this retro caged fan is the way to go. I cannot vouch for the effectiveness of the fan itself but it is definitely on trend.”

So what are you — team fan, or team hater? Show us your options for fan haters who live in Texas below, too! And follow us on social media: Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram.