Your Own Personal (Almost) All Expenses Paid Litter Box Full of Cats

Hey guys do you like Greece? Do you like cats? Do you like lots of cats at once? Do you like free rent and Greece and lots of cats?

Have we got the Wednesday WTF for you.

Now, first off I have to say that I am not team cat. I’m team dog all the way, even though mine likes to take my underwear out to the backyard and fling it around when he’s angry. Dogs are happy to see you when you get home. Dogs protect you from other animals even if they’re on the TV. Dogs are happy if you just pet them, or throw an object, or pretend to throw an object.

The only two times I lived with cats, one trapped me in my own bathroom and later locked me out of my apartment, and the other liked to try to kill me pretty much all the time. I’m sure some of you have had different experiences with cats and some of my favorite people love cats, but once one of God’s precious creatures tries to off me, I tend to hold a grudge.

Please send your emails about how much I’m wrong about my stance on felines to [email protected]. Also please remember that the Wednesday WTF is firmly tongue-in-cheek and permanently salty, so our actual stance on felines, all kittening aside (see what we did there?), is probably not as hard line as depicted in this post. In other words, we’re probably kidding.

So anywho, I found you a job. The good news is that you can live on a Greek island and take care of cats. The bad news (besides the fact that you’re living with a bunch of felines) is that you have to be mature.

The posting was made on Facebook by God’s Little People Cat Rescue earlier this month, and the poster says the position is on the Greek island of Syros, and is for ”a mature and genuinely passionate cat lover who knows how to handle many cats and would love their company!!”

Two exclamation points y’all, which means deadly super serious you must love the company of cats.

“I am looking for someone who can take over the daily running of my Greek cat sanctuary in my absence,” the post continues. “You will have 55 cats in your care and need to be able to overview them all + feed and medicate (big added bonus if you’re trained vet. nurse!).”

Fifty-five cats is like 65 cats too many.

The perks of the job include a fully paid (including water and electricity) semi-detached tiny house with a garden and views of the Aegean Sea, plus your salary, which reflects that it only takes four hours to take care of 55 cats and that you get free lodging.

“You’ll no doubt thrive best if you are the type of person who appreciates nature and likes tranquility – and rest comfortably in your own company,” the post says, but reminds you that you’ll never actually be alone because you know, 55 damned cats. “That said, you’ll never feel lonely in the company of the cats and you’ll be expected to live with a small handful of cats in your house.”

Wait. What? It’s a tiny house which is another phrase for “hot box of farts,” and you want me to keep some cats in it with me?

Other duties include being able to drive cats to the vet, feeding them and giving them their medications, and “knowing something about a cat’s psychology.”

You need to be able to stay for at least six months, too, and the gig starts Nov. 1. So what do you say? Wanna go live alone with 55 cats in Greece?