One of the most charming things about Texas is the names of it’s towns. Gun Barrel City, Cut and Shoot, Jot’Em Down, Fate, Dimple, Dripping Springs, all in Texas. I once made my husband drive through Oatmeal, Texas, down near Austin because I loved the name of the town and wanted to own property there. What a cute address: Oatmeal, Texas. Truth be told, I took the wrong turn off 190 west, which is how I found the town. We also have a Turkey, Texas, in west Texas, which is one of only three towns in the U.S. with such a name even though the turkey is practically our national bird.
But you may have heard: PETA, as a gesture of goodwill toward saving the necks of the Thanksgiving bird, has asked the small town of under 500 east of Lubbock and Amarillo, to change its name to “Tofurkey”. That’s the vegan equivalent of the holiday’s traditional main course. I’ve had it. It’s awful.
The town was named after the wild turkeys found there, and it’s west Texas. So the folks were not exactly clucking to make the name change. Every year PETA finds a holiday gimmick to promote their cause, which is, of course to eliminate the needless slaughter of innocent animals for food or clothing. It’s a good cause.
“I think it’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” said one very ruffled Turkey resident.
The town says that, despite PETA’s offer to prepare a vegan banquet for the entire town, they were insulted and are proud of being turkeys — I mean, Turkey.
Despite the insult to Turkeyians, this is a much better idea than what PETA cooked up laast year. The org tried to rent the notorious “Amityville Horror” house in Long Island, N.Y., to stage an exhibit called “The Amityville Slaughterhouse of Horrors.”
The exhibit was to have included “animatronic chickens with a soundtrack of whirring blades and animal screams, according to PETA Vice President Tracy Reiman.”
This year, they just insulted a small west Texas town, and saved some folks from nightmares.