Oh, I am saving you so much money today with this listing you’ll be able to buy a second home in Miami or Costa Rica. Nice Uptown location here with this great starter condo, perfect for a single gal or guy. Seller is so motivated he is offering a full six months of paid HOA dues ($139 per month) at closing — now that’s an offer! The spacious one bedroom, one bath at 4111 Cole (#32) is 682 square feet and decked out. Get this: Carerra marble countertops, wood floors, stainless steel appliances and even a wood burning fireplace. The kitchen has oodles of counter space and includes a breakfast bar, pantry, and desk for home office needs. The back balcony  has downtown views and great sunsets. The community includes a pool and hot tub with a deck, grill and lounge chairs that make Texas summers survivable. Gated,  secure covered parking, near Cole Park, tennis courts, The Katy Trail and even a dog park. Reduced to $115,000 from $129,900, the last unit in the building for sale and like I said, a little incentive of those HOAs paid up for six months. Call  Jennifer Shindler at Dave Perry-Miller and go for it! I mean,with rates this low you may not see a lick of appreciation but your payment will be secure and this baby will be your’s!

Now here is a very useful trick: this home talks to you! Kind of like having Siri in your house 24/7. Whenever you open or close a main door, it tells you that you have opened or closed a door. No kidding! This can be very useful information if you, say, forget that you have opened or closed a door in the house. I can see it now:

House: “You have just locked yourself out!”

5815 Portsmouth is listed by one of my favorite agents in the whole wide world, Jenny Ling at Virginia Cook. It’s in a gated home community, Cambridge Place, near Campbell Road, far North Dallas — my mom lived up there for years. The area was developed in the early to mid nineties, when this home was built: 1995. You get almost 3,000 square feet, three bedrooms, two and a half baths, two car garage, formals, fireplace, low maintenance yard, some HOA dues which likely cover some lawn care at $225 a month. Ron Natinsky lives up here, somewhere. I’ll be honest: this home is like a Sinatra tribute to cultured marble. God, remember when we loved that stuff, back in the ’60s? And the drapery treatments make me feel like I am in my aunt’s home — bye-bye! What do you expect? It was the home of the founder of Schepps Dairy, Harmon Schepps. Still, great bones, great kitchen (love the bar) and asking just $595,000 for a house that talks to you! Jenny swears it won’t talk back!