I Have Seen the Light, and It’s Time to Leave This Jam-Packed South Carolina Home

Something I often do when I’m writing about these WTF homes is I forget to include a photo of the exterior. You know, the curb appeal. My lovely editor, Shelby Skrhak, has to go back and include that picture for me. She does that so you delightful people can see the calm before the storm. Everybody say, “Thanks Shelby.” I just get so wrapped up in the interior and the “Holy Crap!” nature of it all that I simply forget about the exterior. Well, things change today.

Curb appeal! Am I right? All evidence points to the fact that never, not once, in the history of time has this homeowner ever said no to the question, “Would you like …” The undeniable answer has been an enthusiastic and resounding “YES!!!”

Yeah, that’s the type of enthusiasm that would result in what you are about to see.

I have one word for you: Tchotchkes. This home is where tchotchkes live happily ever after. If dogs go over the rainbow bridge when they die, then tchotchkes come to South Carolina and find this house. Who would have thought? Even ‘ol Abe looks overwhelmed.

Come on, let’s go to the living room.

Holy crap! While there are an endless number of clocks in this room, I am simply focused on the fake fireplace blocking one of the doors. When you have a tchotchkes riddled house like this one, I would not want any barriers blocking the doors. What happens if that fake fire gets ambitious and turns into something more? With all those lamps, the expression “go toward the light” takes on all new meaning.

It’s the Blue Brothers. One of my all-time favorite movies. I had to use this GIF. I digress.

Are you dizzy? I’m dizzy. There is not one, not two, not three but four frying pan clocks. Holy crap! If you want to know what time it is, you can look at the clock in between the flying pan clocks. Deep breath. Who else is disappointed that you can actually see the refrigerator door? I expected it to be covered in magnets and restaurant menus. Let’s go to the sunporch.

So there’s a huge telescope, a beauty parlor chair, and a shoe rack with shoes so big that I can only surmise that Frankenstein lives here and likes to be stylin’ when he’s out of his clompy boots. Holy crap! I do think it is absolutely adorable that they think putting a screen up in this room would help hide the clutter.

In both bathrooms, I see toilet paper dispensers and no commodes. Just so we are perfectly clear, no, I am not going back to the other pictures and looking for toilets in the other rooms. Not. Doing. It. The story I’m making up to account for the lack of toilets is that they upload their turds to the Cloud, and that’s where that story ends.

Okay, let’s head outside so we can get some air.

Another freakin’ lamp. Does anyone have guesses as to whose body is stuffed into the garbage bag and is leaning against the railing. Holy crap.

Oh, look, there’s a nice little path to the pile. Some adventuresome soul scaled the pile and planted a flag. Mercy, this house has been a lot. Maybe that is why I let Shelby put in the exterior picture.

This four-bedroom, three-bath home located in Georgetown, South Carolina, is listed for $549,000.