Mimi + Brenda Inspect: The DIY Connecticut Cabin With Unlimited WTFs

Ah, home repair. When the Gusman and I bought our first home, we were do-it-yourself masters. There was no YouTube or internet. It was just us, our wits, and the dinosaurs. Perhaps if we had had the internet, we would not have created so many — how should I say — code violations. Shhhh… don’t repeat that.

Yeah, see, she gets it. When it comes to home repair, you just keep things to yourself. The only problem is that when it is time to sell, the home inspector comes along and “grades” your work. Let me just say, the Gusman and I were solid C- home repairers.

Yep, that’s us. The accuracy is uncanny.

This is why when I came across the house featured in this week’s column, I knew I needed backup. Lots and lots of do-it-yourself home repair in this home. Fortunately, we here at CandysDirt have a deep bench, so I asked my gal pal Brenda Masse who writes Upon Closer Inspection to put forth her expertise for this gem.

Okay, let’s get started.

Mimi: I don’t know about you, Brenda but my “Oy Vey!” meter jumped when I saw this picture.

Brenda: Yeah, I’m definitely twitching. When you can see under the house from across the street, there are gonna be issues.

Mimi: So Brenda, how important are load-bearing walls in a house? 

Brenda: Pretty important. It’s sort of in the name “load-bearing.” As in the ceiling comes down if they’re not there. Which is, one assumes, why they didn’t move the wall that’s blocking the cabinets they installed. I think the mismatched floors calls attention to the whole arrangement nicely, though, don’t you?

Mimi: I’m going to be positive here. If you end up with a case of poopy pants, you can just toss them right into the washer as you’re sitting on the pot. They’re in the same room.

Brenda: And it would be nice and warm in there, I guess …

Mimi: Now, I call your attention to the electrical wiring setup near the floor of this room below. The only thing I know about electrical wiring is that if you do it wrong it will kill you or it will burn your house down after killing you. How safe are you feeling right now, Brenda?

Brenda: If there’s one thing I’ve said time and time again at Upon Closer Inspection, it’s Don’t DIY Electrical. This wasn’t even, “Uncle Jack knows about wiring, he can set us up.” This is just a fire waiting to happen.

Mimi: I’m at a loss here. Is that a shelf above the stairs? How many times is a home inspector allowed to say “What the fuuuuddddggggeee?”

Brenda: It’s actually unlimited, Mimi. Unlimited WTFs. Maybe they play a game where they throw something on the shelf and see who can retrieve it without falling down the stairs.

Here’s a real head scratcher.

Mimi: Now, Brenda, exactly which box would the inspector check for there being a flue but no chimney?

Brenda: It’s known as the WTF box. Have I mentioned that I can hear the termites eating this house? Maybe the fireplace with no chimney will smoke them out.

Okay, I have one more for you. 

Mimi: How important is a ceiling, Brenda, in the world of home inspection?

Brenda: Most people prefer them. But I suppose this is one way to keep a close watch on your termite-riddled roof for any leaks. You’d know right away.

Thanks for helping me out this week, Brenda. I really appreciate it. Next time I need to tackle a home repair, I’m going to hire somebody.

Mimi: Yeah, like this guy. He looks good, like really, really good. What do you think?

Brenda: Seems legit.

This Woodbury, Connecticut home sits on more than an acre and is listed for $399,900.