The Writing’s on the Wall for This ‘Immaculate’ Home and It Says ‘Train Voices’

“This home is in immaculate condition and being sold As Is.” What do those words mean to you, my lovely readers, the majority of whom are masters of the real estate world? Until today, I thought immaculate meant spotlessly clean or containing no flaws. Apparently I was wrong. Hard to believe I know.

Here’s another question for you. Can a house really be considered immaculate if it looks like an emotional five-year-old, 11-year-old and 15-year-old have done the interior painting to just about every room of the house?

I think Oprah’s reaction answers the question beautifully. Thanks Oprah. Now let’s take a look at this house.

You can’t see the house but that’s fine. I like that the fir trees create an “M.” No doubt that stands for ‘Mmaculate.

It is a good guess that this room was done by the still happy 11-year-old who just learned how to draw lightning bolts and other curvy lines for that extra pop of color.

If hieroglyphics were good for the Egyptians then, by God, they are good enough for Salem, Oregon. I bet you those markings say “This home is in immaculate condition and being sold As Is.”

The rambunctious five-year-old got loose and went to town on the front door.

This was absolutely done by the moody 15-year-old with the sole intent of scaring the hell out of their parents. To that I say, job well done. Let’s see, some of the writing on the walls says “train voices” “laundry on the line” and “probably trees.” That doesn’t even include the manifesto written on the floor.

So the 5-year-old and the 11-year-old tag teamed the kitchen with an assist with the floor.

Looking at the positive, there is never any pressure on whatever meal you make being edible. You walk into the room and you are automatically nauseous. That’s what I call a win-win.

Undoubtedly, this is the room of the 11-year-old. They do love their jagged lines. Now, the only thing that makes this house tolerable is the portal located in the backyard.

The only issue here is that A) there’s a log on the bench where you’re supposed to sit, and B) you don’t really know where the portal sends you. I bet its some place immaculate.

This Oregon home is currently pending and is listed for $300,000.