Eastern European Opulence with Plenty of Banana Flooring Awaits You in Pennsylvania
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There was a time when I would eat a banana a day. Not only are bananas really good for you, the name is so fun to say. Baaa-Nah-Nuh. Three syllables. So much fun. Well, as it turns out, when I was pregnant my love affair with the delicious banana came to a screeching halt. I could not eat a banana or even get the whiff of a banana without getting sick. Holy smokes. It was a scene out of a horror movie.
Indeed.
As it turns out, I still cannot tolerate anything banana related. Not even my beloved banana nut bread. It’s terribly, terribly sad.
The house featured in this week’s column has reinforced my issues with bananas. It too makes me want to yack.
The floor is nothing but sliced bananas. My stomach is flip-flopping just looking at it again. Then there is the upholstery on the furniture. I can smell it from here.
What’s funny is that the description says: Embrace Opulent Living at ”The Palace.” Welcome to ”The Palace,” a stunning estate that embodies unique luxury and sophistication.” I don’t think they know what any of those words mean.
These are the shiniest kitchen cabinets I have ever seen in my life. They are so shiny that they appear to change color based on where you are standing. Bubble gum machine mood rings do the same thing.
They went with banana yellow on the walls to go with the banana flooring. I’m dying.
If you thought the banana flooring would end in the common areas, man were you wrong. So, so, so wrong.
I know the flooring in the one bedroom doesn’t match the other but you didn’t notice at first did you? It took a second look.
The description also touts “elegantly appointed Eastern European furnishings throughout.”
I’m assuming that the two bulges could pass for dual vanities but the one on the right is bulging more than the one on the left. Does Eastern Europe not believe in symmetry?
Another mood ring type cabinet. I’m going say a little something, something here. I am personally offended on behalf of Eastern Europe. I can not believe the banana flooring and color changing cabinets pass for opulence in Eastern Europe.
If those pass for opulence then let me tell you, those people are bananas!
The Palace, which is located in Albrightsville, Pennsylvania, is listed for $869,000.
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The patterned flooring with the layered curtain swags…
Layered like a chocolate cake. Thanks for the read. Here’s wishing you and yours a happy Thanksgiving.
Mimi, your Tuesday appearance had me momentarily panicking that I had one day less to prepare for Thanksgiving! And 97 (!) photos of Eastern European “Palace” opulence on the listing site had me going bananas. Happy Thanksgiving to you, your family, and Candy’s Dirt writers and readers.
Hey Rabbi – We here at CandysDirt like to keep our readers on their toes. Thanks for the read and here is wishing you and your family a very peaceful and happy holiday. ~ Mimi
I’m reminded of this advice, which they clearly didn’t follow, and which could equally well apply to interior design:
“Lastly, never wear too much jewelry, no matter how well it all matches. An old policy, but still a very good one, is after you have completely finished dressing, step away from the mirror and get a good full length view of yourself, then remove one piece of jewelry and you will look much smarter.”
I’m sure that is not the only bit advice they ignored. ha ha Thank you for the read. Here’s wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving weekend and upcoming holiday season.