This Oklahoma Minecraft Home Would Undoubtedly End a 32-Year Marriage

There is undoubtedly, roaming around this land, an architect who was overly humored by his parental units. Every Minecraft creation was a masterpiece and this child grew up thinking that every innate design instinct would surely be a contribution to society that had not been seen ever before.

I know that may seem somewhat snarky but let me assure you, that was the complete and total intent. Look, I was really good at the videogames Defender and Asteroids on my Atari 2600 but I didn’t walk away from those games thinking any spaceship I designed would be the monkey’s banana. 

Come with me as we tour this Minecraft house.

I know, right? At first it makes you smile and then your eyes focus and you furrow your brow because, like, what the what?

There’s so much to talk about here. The windows by the front door look like fins.The curved wood on the stone wall is a lot and all the windows are different shapes and sizes. Then there is the beam coming out of the stone wall. Are they going to hand a swing on that beam? Did they forget to pull it out before the concrete dried? The beam just ends at the wall. Did they mean to do that?

I double dog dare you to convince me that this was not designed by someone who considered themselves masters of the Minecraft world.

Okay, let us have a discussion about the stairs. I’ll start. What the hell? Stairs that lead into a wall only exist in Minecraft. Why? Why would anyone have stairs that long and will inevitably lead you to faceplant into the wall? 

On to the primary bedroom.

Again with the different shaped windows. As perturbed as those windows have me, it is nothing compared to the bathroom.

Without a doubt in my mind, this dual sink nonsense would be the end of my marriage. It’s been a good 32 years but no more. What is the point of having the dual sinks so close to one another? 

I’m going to tell you a little something, something about the Gusman and I. We have big butts and there is no way we would not be bumping into each other as we were at our respective sinks. This is a one butt sink situation at best even though there are two sinks. Madness I tell you, complete and utter madness. No Minecraft for me. I’ll stick to my Atari 2600 thank you very much.

This Tulsa, Oklahoma home is pending with an asking price of $315,000.