Uh-oh: That’s All You Have to Say About This Florida Home (and its Doll Army)

“Uh-oh” is one of the most diabolical words in the English language. It can be fun and playful such as “Uh-oh spaghetti-O’s, I forgot my car keys.” Or, it can be foreboding to something scary or dangerous such as “Uh-ooohhh.”

If someone uses the word uh-oh around you, you absolutely need to go on high alert. Failure to grasp the gravity of someone saying uh-oh could end up with you getting, how should I say it, messed up real bad.

That is exactly right monkey man who is always sitting in a room that is on fire. He knows what I am talking about. Now there is little doubt that the photographer of the home featured in this week’s column uttered a bone chilling uh-oh when he entered the house.

At first glance, the house does not raise much suspicion. Should they get rid of the yellow bile color? Yes, please. Could it have better curb appeal? You bet your booty. Believe it or not, those are the best parts of this home.

Wowsers, those are some huge storage sheds.

Here are some more in the driveway. Why would a nearly 5,000-square-foot house need so many ginormous storage sheds? 

The only question that needs to be asked at this time is which doll does the demon spirit inhabit or does said demon make such a decision based on their mood? Even demons like options.

Sometimes there is just not enough gum for a house like this one. Let’s continue.

Uh-oh!

Now what is amazing is that all those shrunken heads along the wall all have the same Vegas Cher wig. 

I can sense you all need a brief reprieve. I do believe the psychological term for this room is mission control.

Why yes, this is how I show off my photography. Give me a foldable outdoor chair in the middle of my kitchen any day as opposed to let’s say, a wall. I’ll be honest here, I do like those pelicans in the far right corner. I have a feeling that is how the owner of this house got started. Not today Satan!

There just isn’t enough money in the world to look under those tapestries.

All I can picture is my tube-shaped Corgi-like dog barreling through here like the bowling ball he is. Come on, let’s go upstairs.

Ruh-row is right Scoob.

Brace! Don’t let the Vegas Cher heads freak you out.

Yeah, don’t let the Cher heads freak you out while the army of the dolls suck out your life force as they swarm while you foolishly sleep. Let’s face you have it coming for sleeping in front of the doll army.

Okay my peoples, I’ll bring this to an end. I need everyone recovered before next week’s column and I know this Florida WTF home will take more time than usual to get over.