This New Jersey Cottage Will Give You Fever, Leave You Delirious, or Both

A little-known fact about myself is that when I have a fever I get delirious. I come up with the most sensational ideas and dreams and devise the greatest way to implement them. I typically pass out and when I wake up I go through the entire process again.

While I was dating my future husband, I got a case of strep throat so the Gusman, who was working on his Master’s, took me to the ER. They gave me a shot, prescribed some antibiotics, and sent me on my way. Gusman plopped me on my couch, turned on CNN, and headed back to campus so he could finish his thesis.

Now, it just so happens that as I lay on my couch the 1992 Los Angeles riots were taking place. As I drifted in and out of consciousness, I devised a plan where I would fly to LA, partake in the looting so I could get a big-screen TV, and then fly home with my new TV before anyone knew I was gone. 

It just so happens that this past weekend I had a case of the flu with a high fever. As I lay on the couch searching for a home to write about, the movie Barbie and some documentary on the mob kept playing on the television. If you believe in the power of manifesting your desires, well I accomplished just that with the house featured in this week’s column.

This little New Jersey Barbie dream house is fit for a mob wife right down to the religious statue in the front yard. When Carmela needs a break she grabs the girls and heads to this little two-bedroom, one-bath bungalow.

The kitchen area is absolutely adorable. What a wonderful spot for the mob wives to relax with Mimosas and a Jello-and-fruit mold dessert.

You can hear the cards being shuffled before the next hand of Canasta is dealt as the ladies have a drag from their Virginia Slims.

Manifesting the reality of animal print and mint. I am not delirious, you are. 

It is at this point of the fever that I pass out. One can only handle so much animal print in a 1,400-square-foot home. Until next week my peoples, go get your flu shot.

See more photos of this whimsical cottage on one acre located in Tuckerton, New Jersey.