Magnificent Metal Mansion Meant for California or Texas

Wednesday WTF has spent a lot of time this year featuring homes located in California. It explains a lot of the idiotic construction going on in Dallas right now. Tron house, anyone?

I get it. The majority of people moving to Dallas are from California, so the builders are trying to build to what would appeal to Californians. Nice idea, but Texas is definitely not California, and really, the two cannot be confused as being similar.

Or can they? I think I found a California house that would translate just fine in Texas. Yeah, baby, every Texan’s nightmare comes true, being confused for a Californian. As long as you do not mind living in a warehouse district that is.

I would bet dollars to donuts that this house was built by the owner with the help of his handy-dandy, well-charged electric screwdriver. I know this because my husband and I built a storage shed that looked remarkably similar to this house only on a much smaller scale.

This four-bedroom, three-bathroom “Magnificent Metal Mansion” has a total of 8,000 square feet. Four thousand square feet is for living space, 2,000 square feet is allocated for a “well-equipped shop” and 600 square feet is dedicated as a hobby area. It sits on two acres located at 6235 County Road 10 1/2, Orland, California. The asking price is $750,000. 

I know with all those numbers it can be a little confusing but yes, that leaves us short 1,400 square feet but I am letting that go because, without a doubt, this house was designed and decorated by a single man who intends to snag himself a bride with this mansion. 

First off, wow. The owner has the right idea. Women enjoy patio furniture and the flags that we can hang in the yard or from the porch. Let us not overlook all the palm trees, plants, koi pond, and decorative kites. Women love all that stuff but outside of the house as opposed to the main living area of their home. My word. How do I know it was a dude who chose the decor? In the middle of all this stuff sits a big ‘ol billiard table.

On to the bedroom.

Everyone knows the ladies love animal print and hot pink wallpaper. Lest you forget it is a home made of sheet metal, there is the obligatory window unit. Oh baby, let us go to the master bath.

He gets points for the whirlpool tub but the placement of the commode screams “Dude!” 

“Oh yeah baby, pay me no mind while I watch you shower as I drop a deuce.” 

So on second thought, perhaps, just maybe, this magnificent metal mansion should stay in California. We have enough to deal with some of these new builds in Dallas.

For more photos go here.