On ‘Home Alone,’ Maybe It Would Have Been Cheaper to Let Harry and Marv Steal Everything

If you’re watching Home Alone for the thousandth time and you’re like me, you’re cringing at all the damages being done to Kevin McCallister’s home.

Kevin designed plenty of elaborate traps to hold off the Wet Bandits from a simple home invasion.

As you watch a second-grader foil the home invaders at every step — and you see the damage caused by his defensive efforts — you begin to wonder whether it would’ve been more cost-effective to just let Harry and Marv just haul off the presents.

Chances are theft is included in the homeowner’s insurance. Damages caused by Kevin likely aren’t covered. If you have an 8-year-old, it might be a good time to check your policy.

In the past few years, a few people have added up the damage costs. In 2019, Carl Goulding at MyBuilder.com took a public adjuster’s approach and U.K.-based Swift Direct Blinds put numbers to it.

Not calculating inflation, Kevin caused about $11,460 in damages alone on the first floor, they determined. The costliest trap was the tar-and-feathers prank, which could cost as much as $3,860. To repair redecorating costs caused by an indoor blowtorch that burned Harry’s head and a falling iron from the laundry chute to Marv’s head, the costs would have been $2,310 each.

On the second floor, simply deep cleaning the house would cost $770. Damages caused by heavy paint cans thrown from the top of the stairway and Buzz’s broken shelves amount to $645 each.

Goulding offered a little more range in his assessment: $800 for tar on the stairs, $180-$250 for the burning doorknob, $1,400 to $2,500 for Buzz’s broken shelves, $2,350 for the blowtorch to the head, and $2,000 to $5,000 for soot damage caused by firecrackers set off in the kitchen.

Think about all this the next time Home Alone comes on, which should be all the time leading up to Christmas.