No Mancave Needed: Bromance Creates Wild Testoster-Home

Years ago mancaves started to be a thing in homes. A retreat where the men of the house could go to laugh at their farts and scratch their butts without any of the women folk bothering them.

Even Captain Picard finds farts funny and he is British.

Now the house featured in this week’s column does not have a mancave. You see, it does not need a mancave because there will never be any woman in her right mind that will ever set foot, let alone live, in that house.

This is a home designed by a dude so all of his bros can have a place to hang out, drink brews and watch sports and, oh yeah, laugh at the farts.

This three-bedroom, one-bath home is located at 3050 Burdette St, Ferndale, Michigan. The home is just under 1,000 square feet and the bro is asking $165K.

“This property was designed with fun in mind!” says the description. “The living room has a removable platform perfect for stadium seating to watch the Big Game!”

“Yo, bro, brew me. And how about some nachos!” 

“I love your house bro. It’s like we’re at the ballpark with stadium seating in your living room.”

The brats, nachos, and burritos would be made in this galley kitchen. Cakes, they would also make cakes.

Urinal cakes, that is!!!!

The description says, “The kitchen features a new wet bar.” What the hell kind of “wet” were they talking about? 

Look, I live in a one-bathroom house. I know what it is like to wait while the bathroom is occupied. I can honestly say, however, that at no time did I consider installing a toilet, let alone a urinal, in my kitchen!

No one in their right mind wants to walk in on this.

“Bro, I love the bar. The kegger is right there.”

“Yeah bro, you know what they say, you only rent beer.”

“Putting the urinals in the kitchen is genius bro. It saves us from having to walk to the bathroom.”

Ah yes, the bathroom.

“The full bath has many unique items including a TV hookup for the shower to ensure you’ll never miss a play.“

You know what else you will never miss? Your bro dropping a deuce while you are taking a shower.

“Bro, I love that your can looks like a throne. I can put my brew on one side and my nachos on the other.”

“I know bro, it’s great.”

“It leaves my hands free to cheer on the team. Have you seen my big foamy finger bro?”

“Yeah bro, I was using it as a scrubber.”

“Bro!!!”

“BRO!!!!!!”

So there you go. If beer, brats, bros, and butt bubbles are your happy place then this is the house for you, my dedicated, lifelong, bachelor.

For more photos, go here.