This Jurassic Park Home is Not a Sight For Saur Eyes

I have a funny story to share with you. Shortly after we were married, my husband and I entered a movie marathon hosted by a radio station. We had to watch the same five movies for 24 hours. The rules were that we could not use the restroom, we could not sleep and we had to answer a ”basic” question at the end of each movie. 

The prize for the winners was a yearlong movie pass for any movie at any time. When you are newly married, love movies, and are broke, you are more than happy to subject yourself to being in a movie theater for 24 hours. Long story short, we “won” the movie passes but it took a letter to the Better Business Bureau and a phone call with the radio station owner. I digress.

Now, whenever I see any of those movies from that contest I can still smell that movie theater. It is as though the theater altered our DNA just enough so that while we have never been back to that theater, we actually never left. As we learned in the movie Jurassic Park, DNA is a powerful thing.

Soooo … I come to the point of this story. Jurassic Park was one of the movies we watched in that 24-hour period. Just so we are clear, I am talking about the original Jurassic Park and not any of the sequels. You can only imagine how excited I got when I saw the house featured in this week’s column.

Hold Onto Your Butts

This three-bedroom, two-bath house has 2,166 square feet. It sits on two acres and is located at 61 Joy Lane, Washougal, Washington. The owners are asking $1.29 million. 

“What have they got in there, King Kong?” No, Dr. Malcolm, there are dinosaurs!!!

Spared No Expense!

What? You thought I was kidding?

In case you were wondering, this is what you call being a super fan of a movie. Let us look inside, shall we?

Not to be nitpicky but with a driveway lined with dinosaurs and a velociraptor in the cage, I was expecting to see the visitor center with its decorative concrete and concave curve. Instead, we have what can best be described as the utility building.

Creation is an act of sheer will! Next time it’ll be flawless!

If you were expecting to see the skeleton of the T-Rex as you walk in the door you better adjust your expectations now.

Okay, it looks pleasant enough but how am I supposed to escape if I want to avoid being eaten by a velociraptor?

I know. I will run to the kitchen and hide in those big, stainless steel cabinets.

The listing agent said there was “attention to detail” everywhere. Well we know they really do not understand the words they are using.

So the owners are giving us a T-Rex, a triceratops, a velociraptor, and other dinosaurs but they cannot spring for an official jeep or at least some decals? How is Jeff Goldblum supposed to look all sexy hurt in that jeep?

So much like the movie marathon contest, the house came close to being a blockbuster but it missed the mark. At least we did not have to call the BBB this time around.

To see more photos, go here.