This Pennsylvania Ranch Home is Brought to You By The Letters W, T, And F
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When I found the house to feature in this week’s column, I knew who my imaginary guest writer was going to be: Elmo. Elmo would absolutely appreciate this house.
“Hi Elmo!”
“Hi Mimi! Elmo is happy to be here helping you write. Elmo’s a good writer. Elmo likes to laugh and giggle.”
“I know you are a good writer Elmo. I like to laugh and giggle when I write too. I think you will be interested in this week’s house. It is brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.”
“Oh boy, Elmo can hardly wait!”
This week’s home is located at 30 North 11th Street, Bangor, Pennsylvania. It has four bedrooms and three and a half bathrooms and has a little more than 3,700 square feet. The home sits on three-quarters of an acre. The owners are asking $489K.
“Elmo thinks this house looks nice. Why are we writing about this house?”
“Be patient, Elmo. You will see soon enough.”
“Oh boy, Elmo loves red”
“Uh-oh.”
“Yes Elmo, uh-oh indeed.”
“Elmo thinks someone broke into the Elmo factory and stole all the material to put in this house. Elmo is getting kind of nervous.”
“Come on Elmo, hang in there buddy. We are only on photo 29. There are 135 pictures to see.”
“135! That is a lot of pictures. Elmo can’t count that high. Elmo dizzy.”
“Okay Elmo. How about we go to the kitchen?”
“Elmo would like to go to the kitchen. Do you think they would have a snack to help Elmo stop being dizzy?”
“There’s only one way to find out pal. Let’s go.”
“Elmo! Wake up, buddy. We’re not done writing the column.”
“Sorry. Elmo got nauseous and passed out.”
“It’s okay, Elmo. It is not every day you see the same pattern from the sofa wallpapered onto the kitchen walls.”
“And on to the ceiling and the shade and the curtains. Elmo tired.”
“Elmo now understands why Mimi said this week’s column is brought to you by the letters W, T, and F.”
“Elmo’s snack doesn’t need to be heated up in the microwave. Just the reflection of all the red is enough to heat up Elmo’s snack.”
“Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Good one, Elmo. You are a good writer.”
“Elmo not feeling good. Elmo needs to go to the bathroom.”
“Mimi, Elmo has had enough. Can we please stop?”
“Are you sure Elmo? We still have 50 more photos to see.”
To see more photos, go here.
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The DOLLS!!!
Oh yes, THE DOLLS!!! Thanks for the read. Have a great Wednesday.
Yes, total miss when you didn’t include the dolls! They just upped the WTF factor by at least ten. . .
I’m going to let you in on a secret Suzanna. Elmo is quite the diva. I wanted to write about the dolls but I could not convince him. Unless it was red, he was not interested. ha ha ha Thanks for the read. Have a great day.
Hi Mimi,
This house must be photoshopped. Carpet in the kitchen??? And the wallpaper…ceiling, walls, doors…it’s everywhere! The Letters W, T, & F, indeed.
Hi Donna: I don’t think the photos are photoshopped simply because why would anyone photoshop the house to look like this? ha ha Thanks for the read. Have a great day.
The kitschy kitchen macrame plant hanger and strawberry shortcake are retro-congruent; I created fabulous equivalents while attending JCC summer camp. However, I simply cannot envision a slap and tickle do-si-do in the primary bedroom crib (photo # 90).
The issues with the bedrooms are enough to write another column. There was a lot happening with the house. Thanks for the read Rabbi.
I just have to say that master bedroom took me back in time to my Aunt Marion’s home oh how I wish I had cell phone photos of her house! Her carpet was the green sister of that red carpet (that is even in the water heater closet!) It fluffed when vacuumed. She is the one with the giant purple grape light fixtures in her blue hallway bathroom. God I lusted after those grapes…
A friend of ours had grape light fixtures. They were something. Thanks for the read.
I had to look at every single photo. Oh My. Wall to wall in the kitchen, and bathroom. AND utility room. These folks must be so tidy to never spill! And yes for eye relief, the blue and green soothing bedroom colors with the scary dolls watching your every move. This may be my favorite WTF to date!
The bedrooms and dolls are an entirely other column all by themselves. Thanks for the read.