NJ Beach House Slides Down The Tube With a Splash

Water slides are awesome. 

The person who came up with the concept of pushing a ton of water down a tube and then throwing themselves down said tube should win a major award of some sort. You start out kind of slow. You build momentum with every twist and curve. You pick up even more speed as you are just slipping and sliding away and wanting more.

No matter the twists and turns, when I’m sloshing my way down a water slide my family can figure out exactly where I am because I get hysterical laughter, bordering on a scream, going. The screaming laughter ends when I sploosh into the pool. It is so much fun.

The home featured in this week’s column is the transformer version of a water slide. By that I mean, a topsy-turvy water slide is the spirit animal for this house. Trust me, you will see what I’m talking about soon enough.

Let us take a minute to let this, all of this, soak in because we are in for a ride. If this home were a water slide, we would be at the bottom of the slide looking up, with our mouths agape. While we are a little nervous and are not looking forward to climbing those stairs to get to the top, we nonetheless muster the courage to see more.

This gem is located in New Jersey. I know, I know. I just heard a collective “No kidding, really?” from all of you. 

More specifically, the home is located at 8 N Haverford Ave, Margate City, New Jersey. This beach house has six bedrooms and five-and-a-half bathrooms. It is listed for $1.625 million.

Let us keep going. The fun awaits.

To continue with the water slide analogy, we are now at the top of the water slide looking down and saying, “What the hell?”

Yeah, that is former President Barack Obama sitting on the bench on the front porch. The sign on the back of the waiter serving him says, ”Wife and dog missing. Reward for dog.” I want one to go with my collection of yard art.

Before you start thinking, “Obama? He’s not even in office.”

Here ya go.

Everybody say, “Hi Joe.”

Okay, so back to the water slide. You are looking down the slide and you just go ahead and throw yourself down the tube because Momma didn’t raise no sissy. 

WEEEEE!!!!!!!!

At this point of the trip down the slide, you are thinking you have made a huge mistake and you want to stop. You cannot. 

Cue hysterical scream laughing now.

Because I know my readers so well, a lot of you are worried that if you bought this beach house how could you not go on without the mannequin sitting at the bar. Not to worry, the description says, “Most furniture and furnishings are included in the sale.”

Alright, you can see the opening and the pool where you be splashing in to and then you hit one more bump.

Aaaannnndddd sploosh!

The trip down the water slide is over and you are now floating in the pool. You look back not sure about what you just experienced and not quite sure if you want to do it again.

You have seen enough to know you have seen too much.

So there you go. That was something, huh? You have earned yourself a Mai Tai with a little paper umbrella. If you are lucky, you will have a cheeky little butler serve it to you as you sit on your front porch.

To see more photos of this home click here.