Sorry if we “got cha” yesterday, April 1, April Fools Day. It is a CandysDirt.com tradition to fool you on April Fool’s Day. We had three April Fool’s posts. So naughty.

One, Jon Anderson’s “Tinder Home” post, which I thought was brilliant and am trademarking that name tomorrow. Move out of the way, Zillow, Tinder Home is on its way! Though this sentence, “But the real money is in selling user data”, may not have been so April Fools-y.

Two, Bethany’s very crafty “O” home of a McMansion at 401 (get it?) Narre Lane in Savage Gardens, Narre being Danish for “fool”‘, and the Realtor’s name (Dia Daspetas) literally means “April Fools Day” in Portuguese. Why Portuguese? Hell if I know.

Bethany actually hid the fact that this was an April Fool’s story IN the story. And Savage Gardens? That’s a late 90’s, early 2000’s music group (though it would be a great name for a Dallas neighborhood since we once had a mayor named Savage, 1949 to 1951, father of Dorothy and Virginia. Virginia Savage McAlester is the grand dame who saved Swiss Avenue, who wrote the seminal bible on architectural style we worship here at CandysDirt. I don’t know if readers believed us but the lover’s toilet, the basement access from the walk-in closet, the S&M torture chamber in the actual basement, and the “ballroom” are usual components of our “O” homes… and you do know what an “O” home is, yes? No April Fooling there!

Then there was the granddaddy of them all, the Fort Worth Zoo story, the brainchild of our Fort Worth Editor Eric Prokesh, who is brilliant. Also multi-talented as he is an award-winning interior designer.

The Zoo story broke our servers at about 4:00 pm, we had so much traffic. Of course, they are not selling the world-famous Fort Worth Zoo to a developer! The story proved two things: (1) we have a whole lot of readers in Fort Worth and (2) readers really trust us! I felt a wee bit badly that we had fooled so many, but honestly, all of real estate is kind of one big April Fools.

Which is why it has become our favorite holiday.

Hear us now: it is a CandysDirt.com tradition to FOOL you on April Fool’s Day, and ONLY on April Fool’s Day. (more…)

Bowman ext

Wow, this is something we have not really seen. But how interesting! Show the home in two different colors. Is it red, is it beige, who knows? Maybe it’s BOTH!

(Or maybe you just need new glasses?)Bowman beigeThe house at 9951 Bowman Blvd. was listed as being in Preston Hollow. Yes, Preston Hollow indeed — west of Marsh Lane, east of Webb’s Chapel Road. No fooling, that was what it said on Trulia, those smarties!

9951 Bowman Blvd is in the Preston Hollow neighborhood in Dallas, TX. The average list price for Preston Hollow is $1,028,310.

Let’s tell them Andy Beal and George W. Bush are right next door! (more…)

Tom-Hicks-3-620x467

In a shocking turn of events, the $100 million Crespi-Hicks estate has been sold to an anonymous shopping center developer. In a closed-door meeting with the City of Dallas, the plan was approved for a nearly 1 million-square-foot retail development to be anchored by Costco. The home had been on the market for several years and first carried a price of $135-million.

Costco Logo

Sources report that the Costco deal hinged on being granted a full liquor license covering wine, beer, and hard liquor. One anonymous “Mayflower Madam” was thrilled, “Between the galas and institutionalized alcoholism, we WASPs can pack it away.” In a concession to neighbors, Costco will reportedly offer its first liquor delivery service. Devastated representatives from Spec’s and Siegel’s were unable to speak through their sobs.

After the price reduction, the developer thought the purchase was a no-brainer, but the City of Dallas took some convincing. “Where else can you get 25 acres in the most prestigious area of Dallas AND bordering the tollway?” To satisfy the city and neighbors, the deal includes constructing tollway access ramps for a new Crespi-Hicks exit. “We read about the continuing hullaballoo trying to redevelop Preston Center and wanted to nip any traffic concerns in the bud.”

Since this story broke last night, the developer says he’s been inundated with calls from retailers wanting in. “Sam’s Club have been so keen to get onto the site opposite Costco that in an unprecedented move they’ve guaranteed to match Costco workers’ salaries.”

(more…)

Popular real estate networks HGTV and DIY could be in hot water legally.

Popular real estate networks HGTV and DIY could be in hot water legally.

Popular real estate and renovation cable TV networks House and Garden Television (HGTV) and DIY Network shuttered operations today in the wake of recent FCC legislation and a class-action lawsuit from appliance manufacturers.

The chilling and sweeping legislation by the FCC, bans the words “charm” and “character” (among others) from the nation’s airwaves. It also expands beyond words to include visuals and gestures. For example, stenciling cloying words and phrases on walls is now unbroadcastable as is televising images of vessel and farmhouse sinks.

“We had to do something to protect the English language from collapsing into the trite and overused vocabulary propagated by these television shows,” stated FCC chairman Tom Wheeler at a press conference. “These programs are seen worldwide and do a disservice to the variety of the English language and the reputation of the United States. Frankly, it was an embarrassment we failed to correct with reality TV a long time ago,” he continued.

Gestures are a completely new category that some say shows the FCC has run amok. TV shows are now banned from showing homeowners forming a “hand-teepee” over their nose when seeing the “reveal.” Fines will reportedly be doubled if the teepee is followed by fanning (crocodile) tear-stained eyes.

(more…)

I love April Fools. My two favorite jokes include putting a rubber band around the kitchen faucet sprayer so that the unsuspecting user of said faucet gets soaked, and hijacking a friend’s phone and sending a picture of a positive pregnancy test to their entire contact list.

Were you the butt of a good April Fools joke yesterday? Anyone planning something cheeky for today? There has to be a Realtor out there who can pull off an epic prank …

Side note: No foolin’, but mortgage loans just got more expensive as of yesterday. Find out more about the new FHA regulations in Candy’s column on You+Dallas.