This El Mirage Listing Crashed in Crazy Town

So the “home” featured in this week’s column took the train to Crazy Town. Before it got there, however, it pulled the emergency cord and came to a screeching halt. It jumped off the train, ran 300 yards, and then took a hard left to the city of Whuuuttttt. The “home” then went full speed until it got to the booming metropolis of WTF and that is where this column begins. How’s that for a grabber? You are welcome.

Okay look my peoples. We need to pull it together. It is much too early in this column to be sticking a stethoscope to our heads. Trust me, that will come later.

And… that later time is now.

Okay, let’s address the positives first. 1. It is only $310,000. 2. It is 40 acres of prime desert real estate. 3. A plane already crashed there so what are the chances of that happening again?

If Otto the autopilot conveyed, buying this place would be a no-brainer. Let’s take a look inside, shall we?

Magnanimous snaps for the afghan. Nothing says homey like an afghan that granny made for you. Snaps also for Big Mouth Billy Bass on the wall. He detracts from the mismatched ceiling fans. I think we can agree that the house has good bones because if we are being completely honest, we were all thinking it was going to be a scene out of the show “Hoarders.” How many of us expected airplane passenger seats for furniture?

Okay, the primary suite is putting off that hostage vibe and spontaneous human combustion. If anyone has a better explanation for the smudge, please share. Enough with the interiors, let’s go outside.

Work with me here, mother-in-law wing. Ba-dum-dum. Thank you, thank you very much. Don’t forget to tip your waitress on the way out.

For those who would be longing for civilization, here’s a convenience store. You need to bring your own gumballs.

If by fresh they mean 30 to 40 years after the fact, then by all means help yourself to some fresh coffee.

Two more pictures, then we’ll continue our trip to Crazy Town.

You have not one but two covered picnic areas. Our final destination when we started this column was Crazy Town. But what if we’ve been there all along and just didn’t realize it? Shelby — cue up the Twilight Zone theme song now.

These 40 acres of prime desert land and all the structures is located in El Mirage, California and listed for $310,000.