Snakeskin Vinyl or Shag Carpet: Choose Your Own Misadventure in This Pennsylvania Home

Here’s some some behind the scenes CandysDirt.com dirt. At our staff meetings, we spend a lot of time talking about murder houses. No, not homes that kill people or homes that are so poorly decorated they would kill you from the shock to your sensibilities. I’m talking about homes where someone was killed. One of our most popular stories that people keep reading about is the Candy Montgomery home.

I know, right? The story of Candy Montgomery happened more than 40 years ago, and folks still can’t get enough. Now, don’t get me wrong. We talk about new homes, nicely decorated homes, historic homes, expensive homes, etc., but the homes that drive the most interest are where people have met their demise. It’s a head scratcher for sure. That inspired me for the home featured in this week’s column.

I put it before you, that if you owned this home, the idea of knocking off a dinner guest or two would be hard to fight off because this house is perfect for getting away with the act. Dum, Da, Dum-Dum… Dummmm.

That’s right kid, redrum. The only thing missing from the picture is the snowy maze. That’s called “murder ambiance.” I digress. Back to the house.

Dark wood paneling, pleather furniture, and a shag carpet that truly has no official name color aside from “Ugh” make this a perfect room in which to eliminate your victim. Brown hides all stains. If the victims are wearing shorts, the back of their legs will stick to the furniture, so they won’t be able to get away and, last but not least, blood stains will be hard to see in this shag carpeting.

Do you want to know what makes Mimi homicidal? Snake skin vinyl flooring. Yeah, you read that right.

Yea baby, bring me the big knife! Not in all the stories I have written about these wackadoo homes have I ever come across snakeskin vinyl flooring.

I do believe Grog chiseled it into the very first building code that said if anyone is to use shag carpeting then they absolutely have to use the color identified as baby poop green. What Grog left out from his chiseling concerned carpeting in the bathrooms.

In all fairness, a rug on top of shag carpeting in a bathroom would make anyone a killer.

I put it to you that you would not necessarily need to commit the murder yourself. Getting in and out of that tub would literally make this home a true crime murder home. Unless you are a parkour master, no way you are getting out of that tub alive.

I have saved the best for last.

This has to be the absolute perfect room in which to murder someone. Any blood will easily blend into the red shag or the wall. Boom! Done.

Located in Newtown Square, Pennsylvania, this home is listed for $695,000.