This Malibu Home Will Poke Your Eye Out With All the Triangles

What do you get when you combine geometry and DIY home design? A house that resembles some futuristic airport that will poke your eye out. Really, there are so many triangles in this house, you will poke your eye out. 

What is worse is that this house does not have the fun aspect of airports like people movers. Do you know how much less I would complain about bringing in groceries if I had a people mover? This house is airport security. It has not one, not two but three metal detector looking things that you need to walk through to enter. What kind of masochist, twisted soul is this designer that they would go with airport security as opposed to simply standing and being moved. 

Perhaps security would not be such a bane on our existence if we could all limbo our way through wearing a hula skirt and shaking maracas. It should be mandated that TSA provide everyone with a hula skirt and maracas. Ooohhh baby. It would change the whole vibe of airline travel. I digress.

As for the triangles, there are so many of those that you cannot throw a dead cat without hitting one.

This is very much like one of those tricks where you ask people to tell you how many, in this case, triangles they see and just when they think they have counted them all they spot another.

Here is a whole wall of flying triangles.

So many pointy points in this house. My father.

The airport aspect of this house is seen just about everywhere. My knees hurt just looking at all the concrete.

Then you have the bright red color throughout the house.

I would swear they salvaged this seating apparatus from an airport remodel. The only thing missing is some sticky three-year-old kid with crap all over his face running around while screaming.

Exactly.

Hand to God, I saw this same wall in the Memphis airport a couple of years ago as it was being remodeled. The only difference is they did not have names of cities spelled backward and upside down. Undoubtedly, this is the work of a sociopath.

Yes, yes. Sociopaths always get a prolonged thumbs down.

And with that, ladies and gentlemen, I bring this to an end. Who wants to come with me to go get some hula skirts for next time we have to go through TSA?

See more photos of this Malibu, California home priced at $9.2 million.