New Mexico Vampire Den is Perfect For Undead Christmas Celebrations

The other day I overheard a rather animated conversation about the celebration of Christmas. Before you go bongo bananas on me, the conversation did not concern the alleged “war on Christmas” or any of that nonsense. The bone of contention was whether vampires, while in their vampire den, celebrate Christmas.

Yeah, I know. But trust me, it was not as stupid as it sounds.

The conversation between the ‘ol Socrates and Plato wannabes went something like this: “Vampires don’t celebrate Christmas because of all the religious symbolism. They’re afraid of crosses and they can’t go to church. Vampires avoid all that kind of stuff.” The retort was on point.

“Spoiler alert! There is no cross at Christmas, that’s Easter. And if vampires only focus on Santa Claus, Frosty, and Rudolph then they can celebrate Christmas without all the religious stuff. So vampires do celebrate Christmas.”

Okay, so maybe the conversation was as stupid as it sounds. With everything going on in this world, these two yahoos were going back and forth over vampires and Christmas. The conversation was fresh on my mind when I saw the house featured in this week’s column.

This house definitively answers their question of whether vampires celebrate Christmas. It is, I dare say, a Christmas miracle. 

This three-bedroom, two-bath home is located at 1122 New York Avenue, Alamogordo, New Mexico. It has more than 12,000 square feet and sits on .34 of an acre. The owners are asking $1.5 million. 

It may not look like a vampire den but just you wait.

The lighting, the antique desk, and the ominous statues all equal vampire den.

No surprise here that the vampires are into the arts and music. They are creatives who like to party and have fun.

Two queen beds in one room and then a claw foot tub at the foot of another bed. Vampires do like their kink.

But what about Christmas? Where is the definitive proof of vampires celebrating Christmas?

Having a Christmas tree amidst all this dark, dim lighting makes just as much sense as having an indoor pool with no water but guess what?

These are the only windows sans the blackout draperies so it only makes sense that the vampires would not know what to do with this space. So why not turn your indoor pool into a sitting area?

So there you go my peoples. Vampires celebrate Christmas. Now you can kick back and rest easy with that knowledge. You are welcome. Please know that I hope you get to celebrate Christmas and New Year with family, friends, and friends who are family. Happy Christmas!

For more photos go here.