When Pickleball is Life, Even Murder Houses Are Potential Dream Homes

Okay my peoples, true confession time. Pickleball is life. The thwack, the pop, the not being able to keep up with the score, the making up the rules as we go. I love it so much. Pickleball is life.

That is why I sobbed like a little baby when I was told I could not play for a minimum of eight weeks until my injured leg healed. The tears were real and they were the big, wet ones. It was a scene all the way around.

So for the past couple of weeks I have been watching my fill of horror movies and have developed a theory. Truly, in the majority of these movies, these people could have survived if they had not bought “the house of their dreams” or simply hit the road when a malevolent presence was felt.

Take, for example, the home featured in this week’s column. This place could have the leading role in its very own horror film. Malevolence galore, and yet I have little doubt that it will sell.

The exterior of the home looks absolutely terrified. This house has seen some stuff. This three-bedroom, two-and-a-half-bath house is located at 4990 Louise Street in Hokes Bluff, Alabama. I cannot believe Stephen King has not included the town name in one of his horror novels. An unassuming, little town where nothing bad could happen until … I digress. The home has 2,000 square feet and the owners are asking $149,900.

When was the last time any of us saw a home that size at that price? It is a set-up, just saying.

The family room and kitchen seem pleasant enough. They are the part of the house that gets you to drop your guard. Even the cartoonish fireplace seems harmless.

Only a madman would go with a blood-splatter motif.

Nothing positive has ever happened in those bathrooms. What the what? Hey, how about we check out the basement?

After watching the horror movies and looking through the majority of photos, I knew there was no way the boogeyman was going to get me in this house. And then comes the final photo. It has me ready to place a bid above asking just to make sure this beauty becomes mine.

Yeah, baby! A tennis court that can easily be converted into a pickleball court! I would be crazy not to buy this house and have my very own pickleball court. I would teach the serial killer, evil demons, and whatever other haunting spirits how to play pickleball. We would always have a foursome. It would be so much fun. Yes, pickleball is life!

For more photos go here.