Tiled Spokane Triplex is Anything But Mellow

In 2012 my family took a trip to the Pacific Northwest. Washington is incredible, by the way. It just so happens our trip coincided shortly after the state legalized marijuana.

As my daughter and I were waiting for my husband, the banner headline in the newspaper read, “Local Stores Sold Out of Pot.”

Now what is funny is that after I saw the headline I thought that we would encounter some of the mellowest people. I was proven wrong when we overheard a phone call a rather large and enraged fellow was having. The only line we heard was “I want you to choke Tim and Tim to choke you!” 

Screenwriters wish they could come up with lines like that. We still say it to each other when we get annoyed. 

Yeah, the guy definitely was not mellow like Homer. Now, I tell you all this because I do not believe the enraged man was the only Washingtonian devoid of mellowness. Case in point: the listing featured in this week’s column.

The listing is actually of a triplex located at 306 W. Park Place, Spokane, Washington. There are two one-bedroom, one-bath units and one three-bedroom, one-and-a-half-bathroom unit. The owners are asking $475,000.

The description is the least confusing thing about the listing.

I will wait for you to take some aspirin before continuing.

I can definitely say these are two rooms located in this triplex and they really, really like hanging things from the ceiling. That is all I will say.

I love how there are two fire extinguishers next to each other. It is absolutely so optimistic to think that anyone would put that much effort into saving this kitchen if a fire broke out.

Okay, let us look at something other than a kitchen.

I showed a friend of mine this listing and her take on it was that perhaps the owner is a fan of Picasso. All I could do was stare at her.

Ladies and gentlemen, Picasso.

Okay, three more pictures, and I promise you will not have to look at anything else.

Are you feeling mellow yet?

I do not know about you but when I was done looking at this listing I would have considered it a huge favor if Tim had choked me and I swear I would not have tried to choke him back.

To see more photos go here.