A Faux Château That Will Send Any Girl-Boss Running to The Guillotine

Marie Antoinette was the original girl-boss. She was the last queen of France before the revolution. She was maligned by haters and blamed for the start of the French revolution. She responded by looking good and dressing well. Girl-boss.

That entire “let them eat cake” line that gets attributed to Marie Antoinette is a good example of her getting a bad rap. In actuality, she never uttered those words. Some think a reporter made it up altogether. Fake news!

One of the most outrageous stories about our girl-boss was that when Louis XVI said she could renovate their Versailles château to suit her tastes it was quickly rumored that the walls were plastered with gold and diamonds.

By now you are probably wondering why I am talking about Marie Antoinette. Well, the house featured in this week’s column is a knock-off of a château in Versailles. Yeah, baby. You read that right. Now unlike our girl-boss in chief, I have a feeling ol’ Marie would have gone a different way in the decorating of this château.

Located at 385 Oyster Bay Rd, Mill Neck, New York, this estate sits on 15 acres of land, has 21 bedrooms and 14 bathrooms. The owners are asking a cool $9.8 million.

Let us take a look-see.

Now I stared at this foyer for a good while because it reminded me of something that I just could not put my finger on. Then the lightbulb went off.

How could I forget Carol Burnett wearing those crazy green curtains? Aside from the shade of green, the curtains are almost i-dentical.

Now in all honesty, we are getting close to having the walls covered in gold but the patio furniture leaves me scratching my head.

If there is not a guillotine blade stored away in this kitchen I will be most disappointed. I have a feeling, however, that the executioner would never be able to remember which cabinet it is located in because they are absolutely dizzying.

For the next set of photos, it is requested that you put on a track suit and the biggest, heaviest gold chains you own.

If Marie Antoinette decorated her château like this, then maybe, just maybe, the revolutionaries may have had a point.

I cannot even find the words to describe the bathroom.

Are those back-to-back bidets or is it one bidet reflected a bunch of different times? That question is completely rhetorical. If you want to answer a question for me, the question is: why?

At this point, Marie is digging through all those kitchen cabinets herself looking for the guillotine blade.

Look at this media room. Look at it! Imagine inviting people over to watch a movie in this room that has a 55-inch flat screen. For the love of everything good and holy…

Make no mistake about it, if even for a minute, someone would have accused Marie Antoinette of decorating her Versailles château like this one then she would have walked herself to the guillotine-like the girl-boss that she was.

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