Forgotten Forest Fails to Bring Fairyland Enchantment

Little forest creatures that clean your house and wash your laundry are a perfect example of something being too good to be true. I have discussed these delightful little forest animals that clean homes quite a bit in my columns. You can see how much I want that to really exist. Really, I do, a lot, a whole lot.

What would I not do to conjure up some forest animals so I could hand them the toilet scrubber and a sweeper?

Well, this week’s column answers that question for me. You see, there is a “Forgotten Forest” residential and rental development being built in Tennessee. On paper, or I should say, in the drawings, it seems oh so magical that there is no way that the squirrels, chipmunks, and deer that live there would not only clean my house but also bring me a drink with a pink umbrella as I sit outside enjoying the afternoon.

But again, it is too good to be true. Allow me to show you why.

The Forgotten Forest will sit on eight acres of land hidden away at Douglas Dam Road Lot 5, Kodak, Tennessee. It is located close to Douglas Lake, Dollywood, Gatlinburg and the Great Smoky Mountains National Park.

“This magical land includes 23 lots for custom-built treehouses, castles, magical houses, or forest burrows.”

Yeah, I am just going to let that hang there for a minute.

These treehouses, castles, magical houses, and forest burrows will have three bedrooms and three bathrooms. The asking price for these 1,600-square-foot houses is $335,000.

Hey, you want $335,000 from me to live like a badger in a burrow I better see some woodland creatures holding a toilet brush because there are going to be three bathrooms that need cleaning. 

The developers keep pushing the magical and enchantment angle of this community but they tipped their hand in one of their pictures.

Why praytell, does my magical and enchanted community need a massive war horn and matching massive sword? What evil forces will we be fighting off? Whom will we be summoning when we blow on that horn? 

I am just going to put this out there. A chipmunk with a toilet brush does not make a good fighter. You see, the developers want you to think your neighbors will be like this:

When, after seeing the sword and horn, your neighbors may be more like this:

Oh, did I mention the community was going to have their own “ancient ruins pool, mythical stone circle, sunken stone labyrinth fountain, and much more.”

Yeah, nothing could go wrong there. Only super great things happen in an ancient ruins pool and mythical stone circles.

So my search for woodland creatures who clean homes with joy in their hearts will continue. I guess if push came to shove, I could try to conjure up a spell or two of my own and try it on the squirrels in my yard.

To see more photos of this listing click here.