Statuaries And Yard Art Do Not Make For Home Decor

True confession time, folks. I love yard art. More specifically, animal yard art. I have, roughly, four-and-a-half pieces of yard art in my front yard.

There’s the four-foot-tall, multi-colored rooster named Rodriguez. There’s also Jerry the giraffe riding a tricycle. There’s a flower basket on the back of his tricycle. Then there’s Rainbow the peacock, BS the bull hanging off my deck, and a little llama on a spike I bought at the dollar store.

I haven’t put out the flamingo — yet.

For Christmas, I can attach candy cane horns to BS. It’s sensational!

Whenever I pull into my driveway, my menagerie of metal and paint is there to greet me.

Now, before you start thinking my enjoyment of yard art will lead my neighbors to pointing and whispering, have no fear. The house featured in this week’s column is my warning that there is a fine line between enjoyment and obsession. Like old Ebenezer Scrooge, I have seen the future and it is sobering.

At first glance, your head twitches and your glance lasts just a smidge longer than it should and then you keep going. But it sticks with you and like a bad car wreck, you have to look more closely.

This home is located 450 W Grixdale, Highland Park, Michigan. It has three bedrooms, two-and-a-half bathrooms, and sits on almost a quarter acre. The owners are asking $345,000.

The Realtor says everything you need to know about this property with the first word of her description “Unique barely begins to describe this one of a kind Grixdale Farms estate.”

Oh, and in case you were wondering, the house is “only shown on sunny days.”

Tour time, my people.

This is the foyer. It is more than a lot. It is like a lot, a lot. There are so many statues and busts and then the mirror on the ceiling reflecting the black and white checkerboard floor. It is much like the fun house you find at the State Fair of Texas.

I have no words except to say my peacock is not a tripping hazard in my kitchen because it is outside. Rainbow is also bigger and more colorful but I digress.

Who could focus on the task at hand in the bathroom with so many little statues staring at them?

Between the mirrors and the statuary, there is no sleeping going on in this room. Do you know why? Because you cannot sleep as your writhing in pain after stubbing your toe on any one of the statues you have at the corners of your bed.

This next photo for me was the equivalent of Ebenezer seeing his tombstone.

Even the dog statue in the chair looks distressed. All I can say is, “I feel ya bro.”

I do not know about you guys, but I am tired.

I think I know why people can only tour that house on sunny days. I have a sneaky suspicion that these statues come to life on dark or overcast days.

So needless to say, while I love my pieces of yard art, it may be a while before I buy another one. It is always good to be reminded not to allow yourself to get obsessed because you may just end up on your keister.

To see more photos of the listing click here.