Little Beauty, Lots of Beasts: No One Decorates a Lodge Like Gaston

One of the fun aspects of writing WTF Wednesday is that my friends are now sending me listings of homes that are a little much.

No more, “Hey Mimi. How are you? Let’s get together for lunch or Pickleball or to catch up.” The texts they send me are straight to the point, “Mimi. I have a new house for you. It’s dripping with opulence.” I love my tribe. They are a funny bunch, supportive, but really funny.

The majority of the homes I have written about thus far in my stellar career have been ones I have found that speak to me. I look at the pictures and I can hear the words of the column in my head.

This week’s listing, though, comes from my fellow CandysDirt.com columnist Karen Eubank. Karen is a pro. She just sent me the link to the house. No extra words needed. The photos spoke for themselves. That is how you know you have a winner. Thanks Karen!

This 11,650 square foot home is located at 7355 River Trace, Mt. Olive, Michigan. It is listed for $1.8 million and has three bedrooms and five bathrooms. All looks well so far. 

Notice the antler chandelier along with the Oryx and the Musk Ox in the foyer? That is what we call in the writing business as foreshadowing.

The first person I thought of when I saw this foyer was Gaston from Beauty and the Beast. He would have loved that “lodge feel” to his home. The wood, the big double doors, the antlers would have Gaston saying, “Je l’aime!”

Now what’s odd about this kitchen is that it is a galley kitchen. You have more than 10,000 square feet of living space and you have a galley kitchen?

“What oh what is Gaston doing with the rest of the square footage of the lodge?” the triplets in love with him would ask.

Temps de tournée, mon peuple. (Tour time, my people.)

I present in all its glory, the office. The deer head on the upper left side is the only one not looking at the desk and chairs. That guy is staring down at the photographer.

Here’s the living room. Yes, yes even I get how antithetical it is to call this the “living” room. Notice yet again, the elk on the upper left who is staring right at the photographer.

Okay, I have to show you one more. Humor me, please.

What in the name of every good and holy is that big bear doing in the corner? Wait, I take it back. I do not need to know what the bear is doing.

Now what is really funny is the listing agent put the photos with all the side-eyeing dead animals along with the regular photos of the home but the agent has since removed them. While we can all agree that Gaston would have loved this house, we can also agree that the listing agent has a pretty good tribe of friends. 

You just know that when they saw the latest listing from their friend, they lit up his phone with, “Bro, what the what?”

To see the photos for this listing go here and here.