Bachelor Seeks Female to Take Advantage of Low Mortgage Interest Rates

One of my favorite sets of characters in the definitely NSFW Broadway show Avenue Q is the Bad Idea Bears. And this week’s Wednesday WTF comes to us courtesy of what we suspect might have been a suggestion to a bachelor from his own personal Bad Idea Bears.

In the musical, the Bad Idea Bears flit through the show, popping up to actively encourage the characters to make, well, bad decisions. A lot of bad decisions. Super bad decisions.

See, the housing market is still a little steep for a lot of people. Homeownership is out of reach for some. But one bachelor up north has a plan, and he laid it all out in his local Facebook group.

“Anyone who’s single wanna go halfsies on a house? Must have a good job, good credit (like mine), and a pretty solid debt to income ratio (also like mine) so we can qualify,” Pat Benjamin wrote in the RiverTowns’ People Facebook page.

With houses that he liked out of his price range, he decided to look for a “single, attractive girl who also doesn’t want to settle for a 165K sh*thole (curseyword obscuring ours).”

Our mortgage-wanting bachelor continues:

“Perks of living with me: I’m Italian and can cook lights out, I can reach tall shelves for your convenience, I don’t chew loud or leave dishes in the sink, and i dont leave water all over the bathroom after a shower, I’m also not terrible to look at. If we click, great. We keep playing house and start a family who knows – look at this as a more profitable, low risk/high reward way of meeting someone instead of tinder. If we can’t stand each other, we re-list the property and sell it for a profit. Boom. It’s a win win. We either fall in love, or we make some money. Message me if you are eligible for this life hack that I just created lmao.”

The responses are, uh, a mixed bag.

“Sounds like an episode for the ID channel in the making.”

“Oh if I were young and single again…  I hope this all works out for you!!! I’m Keeping posted on your journey.”

“You should start off getting married and buying a house the same day . Without even meeting her before hand … straight into debt and misery like the rest of us.”

“Well, I must say… The kid sure has heart and a fighting spirit. Godspeed, Sir.”

“This is the weirdest post i have ever scene on here. Looks like u are looking for the perfect housemate..”attractive girl,great job,great credit” etc..why dont u just find a woman to settle down with That has a good job?? Your coming off as cheap creeper that the ID ch will be featuring in a few years.”

“This is the cringiest sh*t I’ve ever seen in my life.”

So what do you think? Genius or next-level awful? Is the guy onto something, or stepping in something?

Sound off in the comments.

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