If you watch enough House Hunters on HGTV you can create a drinking game of it — take a shot every time someone says man cave. Chug a beer when someone says they hate the paint color. One kegstand when the couple announces they each want a style of house that is not at all compatible with the other, like a Victorian Brutalist with an open concept kitchen that is hidden from the great room and has vintage post-war appliances. Civil War.
Sorry, I got sidetracked there.
Anyway, the man cave is mentioned at least every other episode. In fact, there was one episode where the guy mentioned the man cave every two minutes. The fact that the Realtor didn’t shove him in an actual cave speaks volumes for the patience and professionalism of the craft of real estate sales.
I bring this up because a reader sent me a listing for this week that has a man cave. I mean it, we can’t call it a bonus room, or flex space, or a home theater, or any other euphemism. It is what it is, and what it is is a man cave.
Let me show you this California contemporary in priced at just north of $1 million. It’s two stories of Funtown on a quiet cul-de-sac, with four bedrooms, two-and-a-half baths, and 3,278 square feet.
It has tons of light thanks to windows (except when it doesn’t), and tall ceilings (except when it doesn’t), and a fireplace in the living and dining rooms, and the outside has a flippin’ koi pond, greenhouse, gardens, pool, and a spa.
But let’s look at some pictures, and see if you can pick out what earned this home a spot in the Wednesday WTF pantheon, shall we?
Yep. There you go. Your man cave — literally. Seeing this let me break out everything I learned about caves in grade school — stalagmites grow mighty from the ground, and stalactites grow tight from the ceiling.
I have so many questions. What are they made of? What if you’re tall, are you going to die trying to get to the beer fridge? Is the owner selling because of the concussions? I also like how the agent list stone cold slid this photo in like he/she is Twitter Barry White sliding into someone’s DMs, no explanation, no warning, just BAM! cave pic.
Want to see more pictures? Head over here, if you must. Do you have questions? I don’t have answers, but sound off in the comments anyway. And remember, if you want to inflict the WTF on your friends, sharing is caring.