GenX Called and They Want Their Chairs Back From This Seattle House, No Really

If you have only read a handful of Wednesday WTF’s chances are you know of my deep-felt affection for the 1980s. The decade is known for shopping malls, bright colors, mindless music, and nutball decor. I love it so much. It is a part of my GenX soul and I will go to my grave bobbing my head to The Go-Go’s.

That is hurtful but true. I digress.

Now there are some who never learned to throttle back the GenX rage. There are tells of when one of our fellow GenX patriots held on to the ’80s like a dog with his favorite bone.

Take the house featured in this week’s column. It is a cry for help.

I knew we were in trouble when I saw the hand chair — a standard staple in any diehard GenX home — in the driveway. Imagine getting home and your spouse is sitting in that chair waiting for you. You know you’re in trouble because that chair is really freakin’ uncomfortable.

Uncomfortable seating is a theme that runs through this house.

If I’m being completely honest, if I try sitting in those red chairs my big ‘ol butt is going to flip it over and I’ll be head over heels, wiped out on that floor. My father! Now let’s talk about that mural.

My first thought when I saw that painting was “Why in the world would they give that lady such a big nose and a Cleopatra haircut?” When I looked closer, I had a completely different reaction.

The ‘80s were known for those magic eye paintings. Just sayin’.

Ah, the mirrored bubble tiles, I wish I could remember which store had these along their walls. There’s nothing like getting that funhouse effect in your actual home. I can’t say any of those chairs look comfortable either.

Forget the fridges that talk to you. Put a fun house mirror next to your fridge. That will keep you from getting that extra piece of pie. Or maybe not. Who would turn down pie? That mirror can keep its image to itself if it knows what’s good for it.

More uncomfortable chairs, a metal jack that you better make sure you never sit on, and a brightly colored painting of some naked chick. I believe this is what you call a trifecta of ‘80s icons.

You know where the most comfortable seat in the house is, don’t you?

That’s right baby! The most comfortable seat in the house is in the throne room. I know this because look at the big ‘ol butt on the statue to the left. She’s not flipping any chairs over in this room. All she has to contend with is the freaky painting staring at you when you shower and the little beige shelf that looks as if it came from your Mom’s house just because she didn’t want to throw it away because “it’s still good.”

Yes, yes you do my fellow GenX’er. Yes you do.

See more of this home located in Seattle, Washington and listed for $900,000.